A
female
age
41-50,
*otty
writes:im 26 and iv been seeing my bf now for about a year, when we first got together he had just come out of a 3 year relationship and i had come out of an 8 year marriage.we've known each other for 8 years and when i split up with my husband i started to find him attractive.So last year i finally had the courage to tell him how i felt. We agreed to take things slow and used to talk about our exs all the time, and even helped each other get over them. I remember him saying at 1 point that she was the 1 and he had even seen a ring that he was going to propose with.The problem is he left his phone on his bedside cabinet and temptation got the better of me and i had a flick through. I saw that they still send text messages to each other on a regular basis and found out that she has started seeing someone, however he hasn't mentioned anything about me.I have told him that i do have trust issues that stem back to when i was younger and im not very keen on confrontational matters either(i know i sound pathetic)but it really does bother me especially when i know he was in love with her. in the back of my mind i think that if she approached him and said she wanted him back he would go and iv been left with an uneasy feeling.i have fallen for him in a big way, but i dont want to get hurt. how can i sort this without telling him i went through his phone???
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): ask him if he's still in contact with her - then guage from his reaction how innocent it is.
A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (19 September 2007):
 if he still texting his ex, i think you're better off without him. My reasons? If he had nothing to hide he would have told you, if it was a 3 year relationship he may still hold a torch for her.Ask any male and they will tell you girls and boys are only friends if there is an attraction between them.God knows why, but that is the harsh reality. So if you are going to continually doubt him, you don't need him because you'll ruin the relationship by watching over him anyway.Decide if you can put it out your mind. If you can't, I think you know what you have to do - walk away.Good luck.
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