A
female
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*una~
writes:I started going on the pill when I start having sex with my bf (last November). It was recommended by my doctor and she said I don't need to tell him about it (as many girls don't). From last November to recently, my bf used a condom. I always felt bad not telling him as we made an agreement to be honest with each other. I was always scare he will be offended that I don't trust him enough to be honest with him. About 2 weeks ago, while I was secretly taking my pill in my room (doors closed), my bf opened the door but I put my pills away as quick as I can. I was not sure what he saw, but decided I'll tell him later that day. So I did, and he said he's not mad as it's my decision to do so. He respected that, and everything was fine.Last weekend, my boyfriend had a serious talk to me about another matter that he's really bothered by. Somehow, the issue of my pill came up. He's afraid there are other things I'm just not telling him which he should know about. He asked me how long I've been on it, and I lied. I said I've been on it for a few months. And the reason I didn't tell him, is because it takes a few months for the pill to work (lie). Is this believable or my bf's suspecting I'm lying? He asked me twice about how long I've been on it... What should I do now?
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male
reader, tux  +, writes (3 October 2006):
 Relationships are built on trust and you cant have trust if you continously lie about it. I'm sure what he was seeing is that you are on the pill and that you guys have been using condoms this whole time and he was problaly thinking that you are going off with some other guy without condoms. That's a pretty decent possibility. and you continued to lie to him about it.. which dug yourself deeper.. You just need to sit him down and talk to him about this..
Why didn't you want to tell him about it in the first place? IMO birth control is an issue for yourself and him especially within a committed relationship. The 2 of you should have discussed it.. and yes the doctor was right about that you didn't have to say anything to him, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't.
A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (3 October 2006):
 I'm sorry but in a relationship, honesty is always the best policy as otherwise secret keeping leads to more suspicions. I don't know your reasons for choosing 2 methods of contraception as that really isn't necessary. I know neither are 100% reliable but why did you go on the pill? The condom is sufficient to protect against unwanted pregnancy and STD's, so this is very confusing. Maybe you should both get tested (if you're not virgins) and if there's no signs of any diseases, ditch the condom. You'll both get more pleasure and the pill is pretty effective. Or if you're using a condom for fear of catching something, what are your reasons for this? If that is the reason, why take a drug unnecessarily everday? It doesn't make sense.
I suspect he feels a bit miffed that he's been wearing a condom when he'd rather not, but thinks that he's only using one to stop you getting pregnant.
Why did you lie to him anyway? And why tell him the pill takes months to work when that's crap. He could easily find that out and if/when he does, you'll be in more bother as you lied to him again. Maybe just stop lying, and tell him the whole truth. What you did, why you did and why you didn't tell him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): hi hun,the pill is also commonly used to control heavy,painfull and inconsistant periods(my doctor recomended i use it for these reasons)explain that you suffer from these problems and your doctor recomended the pill.your bf is unlikely to question you further as blokes generally dont want to know these things,if he does ask just say you were embarassed to tell him. you've been going out for a while tell him this is a stupid thing to argue over and b extra nice for a couple of weeks.
hope this helps x
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