A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am Separated right now. Not looking for love at all just want to be alone.Last week I was online looking for an old school friend. While I was looking I found someone else by the same name in the same city.I was bored so I decided to just read about him. He was cute. I read his page. I was taken by his life exsperiences at his age. He was good looking also and single.Doing good in school and had a job. Has His own house and a good person. I sent him a friendly message stating I too am from the area and if he wants to talk he can message back I also told him about myself. Well he replied. He liked my picture alot.2 emails went by and I said call me if you want. He did a day later! I was surprised didn't think he would call at all.We were on the phone for at least 5 hours on and off. It was amazing his life story. We had alot in common ! He even went to the same school I did for just a few months. I liked what I heard. I was very attracted to him by the end of the night. He said nice things to me.When the night was over ..I got off the phone and felt like I never felt before about a man not even with my husband. I wasnt looking for a boyfriend at all. It just happened. The next day he said he couldnt call me cuz he had a date ! I was confussed. He said he didnt want a girlfriend or a serious relationship cuz he was in college and worked. For the next few days we were just texting back and fourth. I felt a really good connection on teh phone. Why in the hell would he stay on the phone with me for 5 hours . He couldnt have been bored cuz he was getting ready to go out that night! So after a a few days went by I asked to see him cuz I was going to the city anyway and he was there. He said no . I said do u ever plan on seeing me at all ? He said No. I was hurt. Those days we were texting I didnt eat. I was so happy . I never felt that way before. He was so friendly. I think I am in love with him. Never happened before to me. What should I do ? Should I tell him or just wait a while to or what ? To make things worse he lives only 5 min. from a family members houses which I stay when I go into town and he knows one of my friends from high school ! Its his best buddy ! I really miss him and I cry alot cuz I wasnt looking for love in the first place. Why did this happen to me ! What should I do ?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo am asking you girls if am obsessed or in love ? I would never go over to his house without asking or call him every day. I would never do anything wierd. I'll text message him about once a week if that.He answers back though.He has never once said leave me alone or anything rude to me. He did say though in Febuary "dont wait for me." I think hes said and is acting that way he has been bcuz am married to protect him and his feelings.He told me he was depressed from his last brake up the relationship lasted 11 months and the girl had 2 kids and he was only 22 at the time. Am 5 years older then him .SO I know its not my kid that gets to him. He told me he loves kids. He does not have time for a long distance relation . I told him I understand that of course neither do I.I have a family. I just want to be friends and be able to hang out when I go in town you know go toteh movies and stuff. I mean he knows someone I knew in HS. I told him back in feb that I would wait for him forever even if i have to move back over seas with my family.He said" are you serious?" I said" uh yes."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAm updating about this post. I went into town. And I called him. It took him a while a few hours to finally say yes. But it was 10 pm at night. So I went ove after I went to themovies with my friend. His family was there but asleep.His dad left him a house before going overseas to live. So his uncle and cousin are staying at his house. Anyways. We talked alo. I did more of the talking cuz he was drunk from celebrating chinesse new year.So I was there for about 3 hours. Of course notthing happened. Helet me massage him . He works so dame hard I feel bade for him lol. Just talking and flirting ,laughing, joking around. He was a complete gental man.Felt like weve been friends or years. Then at 2 am his gf calls . He was sort of bothered by it cuz it was so late. He said Hi ,hey can I call you back later? So that was that. So I left and e kissed me good bye. We would keep intouch for about a week after. Well its been 9 months now. I still cant stop thinking about him. I cry alot cuz am in love with someone I cant have. If I text him he will txt back. I sent him a picture of my new hair cut and he said nice hair and I said well how do I look now? He said " I would hit it " SO am really confused. I even told him think about it ," WHy does this girl still think about me and 9 month later?" He said Il have to ttyl , am in class and am not thinking with the right head right now. e even answerd his phon after I sent those new pics of me. He nevcer answered my phone calls. The last time I called him was 2 months before that. SO I was glad he answerd and i guessed right..that he was in class. So after I had sent him pic, 3 days later he responds. I had sent it to more then one person not just him so I wasnt planning on him responding cuz I havent spoke to him in 2 months. I really think he likes me , but am still married and he has his GF and hes busy wiht school and work. I think he thinks he cant have me also. I mean why would he respond to my txts? If he hated me or if I got on his nerves he would say leave me alone. He has neer once said that. I did finally ask him out to lunch when I was going into own. I said think about it first. Then 45 minutes later he said" no thanks". So am really confussed. And lately I been thinking maybe am obsessed? The I say no cuz I would never leave my husband for him if he said for me to.My husband can provide for me and he loves me. I am not in love with my husband. Its been 2 years. But I do have respect for him and I do care and love him but am in no way in love with him like I do this other guy. I even imagine this other guy overwieght and i trouble and I would still be in love with him. Now if my husband got over weight and was totally unatractive I wouldnt stick around. This other guy has plans to help his dad out in his overseas buisness . Hes in no way an idiot. And neigher is my husband. Two smart guys . Am pretty lucky to have my husband. But thats aother story on why am not in love with him for so long now. He knowswhy he also knows that I did once like this other guy. He found out by accident. So I had to tell him. BUt I didnt tell him I visited him. The other guy is everything I ever wanted in a guy. Even drives a car I like and style is wut i like, same music blah blah. His gF is not a 10 . She like an 4. I have seen her on his myspace frends list. He even once told me is gf is not all that. IShes also imature and is only 19 yrs old !. Hes 23. Don't know maybe am trying to be his mother ? He lost his when he was 8, I think. I really admire him also for dealing with alot of things in lif like morgage ,car payments. He does it all. I just hope am not obsessed with him. I wouldnt do just anything to be with him. But if he was willing to commit to me and my son, then I would leave my husband and work a full time job in order to have my own place and just date the guy. So am asking you girls if am obsessed or in love ? I would never go over to his house without asking or call him every day. I would never do anything wierd. I'll text message him about once a week if that.He answers back though.He has never once said leave me alone or anything rude to me. He did say though in Febuary "dont wait for me." I think hes said and is acting that way he has been bcuz am married to protect him and his feelings.He told me he was depressed from his last brake up the relationship lasted 11 months and the girl had 2 kids and he was only 22 at the time. Am 5 years older then him .SO I know its not my kid that gets to him. He told me he loves kids. He does not have time for a long distance relation . I told him I understand that of course neither do I.I have a family. I just want to be friends and be able to hang out when I go in town you know go toteh movies and stuff. I mean he knows someone I knew in HS.I feel like waiting for him forever. Even if I hve to move back overseas with my family. I told him that ..he said are you serious. I said yes. But that was in febuary when I told him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo am asking you girls if am obsessed or in love ? I would never go over to his house without asking or call him every day. I would never do anything wierd. I'll text message him about once a week if that.He answers back though.He has never once said leave me alone or anything rude to me. He did say though in Febuary "dont wait for me." I think hes said and is acting that way he has been bcuz am married to protect him and his feelings.He told me he was depressed from his last brake up the relationship lasted 11 months and the girl had 2 kids and he was only 22 at the time. Am 5 years older then him .SO I know its not my kid that gets to him. He told me he loves kids. He does not have time for a long distance relation . I told him I understand that of course neither do I.I have a family. I just want to be friends and be able to hang out when I go in town you know go toteh movies and stuff. I mean he knows someone I knew in HS.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAm updating about this post. I went into town. And I called him. It took him a while a few hours to finally say yes. But it was 10 pm at night. So I went ove after I went to themovies with my friend. His family was there but asleep.His dad left him a house before going overseas to live. So his uncle and cousin are staying at his house. Anyways. We talked alo. I did more of the talking cuz he was drunk from celebrating chinesse new year.So I was there for about 3 hours. Of course notthing happened. Helet me massage him . He works so dame hard I feel bade for him lol. Just talking and flirting ,laughing, joking around. He was a complete gental man.Felt like weve been friends or years. Then at 2 am his gf calls . He was sort of bothered by it cuz it was so late. He said Hi ,hey can I call you back later? So that was that. So I left and e kissed me good bye. We would keep intouch for about a week after. Well its been 9 months now. I still cant stop thinking about him. I cry alot cuz am in love with someone I cant have. If I text him he will txt back. I sent him a picture of my new hair cut and he said nice hair and I said well how do I look now? He said " I would hit it " SO am really confused. I even told him think about it ," WHy does this girl still think about me and 9 month later?" He said Il have to ttyl , am in class and am not thinking with the right head right now. e even answerd his phon after I sent those new pics of me. He nevcer answered my phone calls. The last time I called him was 2 months before that. SO I was glad he answerd and i guessed right..that he was in class. So after I had sent him pic, 3 days later he responds. I had sent it to more then one person not just him so I wasnt planning on him responding cuz I havent spoke to him in 2 months. I really think he likes me , but am still married and he has his GF and hes busy wiht school and work. I think he thinks he cant have me also. I mean why would he respond to my txts? If he hated me or if I got on his nerves he would say leave me alone. He has neer once said that. I did finally ask him out to lunch when I was going into own. I said think about it first. Then 45 minutes later he said" no thanks". So am really confussed. And lately I been thinking maybe am obsessed? The I say no cuz I would never leave my husband for him if he said for me to.My husband can provide for me and he loves me. I am not in love with my husband. Its been 2 years. But I do have respect for him and I do care and love him but am in no way in love with him like I do this other guy. I even imagine this other guy overwieght and i trouble and I would still be in love with him. Now if my husband got over weight and was totally unatractive I wouldnt stick around. This other guy has plans to help his dad out in his overseas buisness . Hes in no way an idiot. And neigher is my husband. Two smart guys . Am pretty lucky to have my husband. But thats aother story on why am not in love with him for so long now. He knowswhy he also knows that I did once like this other guy. He found out by accident. So I had to tell him. BUt I didnt tell him I visited him. The other guy is everything I ever wanted in a guy. Even drives a car I like and style is wut i like, same music blah blah. His gF is not a 10 . She like an 4. I have seen her on his myspace frends list. He even once told me is gf is not all that. IShes also imature and is only 19 yrs old !. Hes 23. Don't know maybe am trying to be his mother ? He lost his when he was 8, I think. I really admire him also for dealing with alot of things in lif like morgage ,car payments. He does it all. I just hope am not obsessed with him. I wouldnt do just anything to be with him. But if he was willing to commit to me and my son, then I would leave my husband and work a full time job in order to have my own place and just date the guy. Wut do you think? Thanks.
...............................
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (6 February 2007):
 i think you must slow down, i think the way you are feeling is an excitement you are seperated and yet another man gave you so much attention and showed a lot of interest in you than anticipated, you needed the attention and you got it which caused the confusion on your side that you could fathom if he wants friendship or relationship thats why when u want to see him he is making excuses, i say get up chat him up until you have relieved the crush you developed on him, dont try to invite him or tell him you love him when he is still so reluctant about hooking up his answers might hurt you even more. you are still married and maybe this is the destruction you needed to sort your future out with your husband.
...............................
|
