A
female
age
36-40,
*ands_down317
writes:I don't even know how to start this so i'm just going to say it. I can't orgasm. It upsets me and it upsets my boyfriend. I never have been able to in my life, I'm 20 and I unwillingly started young.When I was 14 I was raped while "babysitting". This has messed up my head on the meaning of sex and really impacted me. To me there is no intimacy in sex for me, though it is fun, it doesn't have any value because in my life it was devalued at such a young age. But is this the reason I can't climax?When my boyfriend and I fooling around I've gotten to the point where I feel like it might happen, but then I think to much about it and the feeling just stops, like it's hit a brick wall and it's not going any further. We've tried touching, oral, vibrators, nothing seems to work. Some things I've read in magazines said that with women it helps to be in a sexual state of mind, I can't do this, I don't know if it's because of what happened when I was younger, or if it's just me. Don't get me wrong I love having sex, it just doesn't really mean anything to me. So my question is... Am I ever going to orgasm? Or can anyone give me any advice that might help me out? Anything at this point will be helpful. Thanks, xox.
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female
reader, georgiexx  +, writes (2 April 2009):
 oh darling, i'm so sorry, what a hateful thing for someone to do... i think it is important to remember that it wasn't your fault and now you have found someone you love and who loves and respects you, you are 'safe' (for want of a better word). many women never orgasm, it just depends really. i'm certain that your 'inability' to organsm is caused by the phsycological effects of your rape. you are describing reaching a 'wall' this a phsycological barrier that you may wish to overcome through some kind of 'counsiling' its amazing the effects that talking about it can have on your insecurities. once you overcome this barrier i'm sure that you should be able to orgasm, depending on the form of stimulation. i hope everything goes okay, take care x
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