A
female
age
30-35,
*ingstonCatRedsox
writes:My older brother molested me as a kid, then when I was 11 my cousin who was 19-20 molested me, at christmas. I told my father about my cousin and he did nothing. I resent my father so much for not helping me. My step-father always helps me no matter what. I don't understand why my step-father can help me and love me yet my father can't. I haven't told my mother and step-father what my brother and cousin did to me. I just can't bring myself too.My cousin apologized for what he did and started crying, I forgave him and it's helped alot. I still view him as my favorite cousin but I can't get the picture out of my head.I love my brother just because he's my brother.I try to like him, but I just can't.My brother is a pedophile he's touched other children but my parents always seem to get him out of trouble, and my father is always there helping him. It makes me mad that my dad helps him but doesn't help me.Because of this I feel like I have to always be with someone in a sexual way in order for them to love me as me. It's horrible and disgusting. I can't keep sleeping with people. I have to get help. I've never told anyone besides my dad this stuff I just needed to use this to tell someone and see what they have to say.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): yes you need to tell some one i know how hard it is to tell some one or talk about it because i was sexually molested when i was 16 fixing to turn 17 at the time i was sexually molested. i was sexually molested by a friend. my parents did not beleave me my daddy sayed it was my foulght it happen. it was not my fought it happen . i told me teacher because i felt i could talk to my teacher when i could not talk about it with know one else and he helped me. i am 18 now be 19 march 1st ,2009 . and i still see that person all the time. i get very mad and upset about whhat happen all the time . the memorize of what he did to me comes back and i go to crying . and some time i cry so bad i cry my self to sleep . so yes i know what you are going through. i am sorry to say this but you need help really bad and you need to do something before your brother hurts you again or so one else. find some one that you are comfortable talking to you and knows that they care about you and will help you and talk to them. i would like to know what happens so send me a messeage and let me know and you can email me any time when you need someone to talk with because i know what you are going through. emaill address is [email address blocked] i will be glad to talk with you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): I am so sorry to hear that this horrible thing has happened to you. Unfortunately I can relate to a similar experience. When I was three my father brought his best friend to live in our house downstairs. My dad was a drug addict and dealer so you can imagine his friend. I didn't know this and my father was my hero. I just remember going downstairs at night because I heard something or some reason, and then being grabbed and touched in a way that I didn't think was ok. Finally he was done and I ran upstairs. I then told my dad the next day and he told me "don't talk about that". I was crushed but also lead to believe that was normal, or ok that it had happened.
My dad was the only person I ever told and he didn't want to deal with it. I am only 19, but I see how this has manifested itself into many different parts of my life. For as long as I can remember I have been terrified to be alone at night. Last summer I spent the night at my sisters house often taking care of her dog while she was away and I would cry myself to sleep so terrified of things I didn't know. I had nightmares all the time as a child and I grew up very sad and depressed, and I would often have migranes. I would also (and still am) get uncomfortable when people start talking about sex or you know, the like.
Remembering this after having suppressed it is like going through it all over again. But you don't have to be alone you know, and its almost as if its unsayable. No matter how much you want to tell someone you just cant bring yourself to have the words pass your lips.
You are not alone you know, and it wasn't your fault and there was nothing you could do to stop it. I hope the best for you, and you are not going through this alone 3
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): I know what you are going through! I was molested via a family friend at the age of 7 and have never told a soul. Trust me, when I tell you that this does more harm than good. I'm now 35 and have children of my own and have gone to great (even obsessive) lengths to protect them. When you keep something like this to yourself, it has a way of seeping out in other areas of your life. Seek professional help and perhaps find a support group to vent your past. The good news is, you survived it and there are a lot of us that don't. I know there a many of us, that don't tell anyone and then turn to drugs, sex (such as myself), or whatever destructive path we can take to avoid it. Meanwhile, people around us remain confused by our behavior/actions. The person that molested me is dead and I can no longer confront them. His father was a well respected police officer in our area as well. No matter what the situation, when you can tell the truth, you have already won. If someone in your life (parents included), don't support that, walk away. You are not alone on this, we are all out there walking around trying to survive and keep it together. Just imagine if all of us that were molested had to wear a red X on our foreheads? I'm sure you feel like you already do in some respect? As for your Dad, who didn't do anything about it once he had the knowledge.......he is just like all the other people in the world that possessed knowledge of something before it became a real tragedy. If the person that molested you is still doing this, they will eventually take it further and further, until they perhaps murder an innocent child! PLEASE BE THE VOICE FOR THE CHILDREN STILL BEING HURT!!! You don't have any reason to trust a stranger over the internet but, what if I'm right? What if you end up giving a voice to other victims and save yourself from further suffering? When someone does this to a child they are SICK! Don't be fooled by other sick people that don't support you in this. They are equally as sick. What if you could live a better life because, you set the truth free? More importantly, what if you save another child from becoming one of "us"? Be good to yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): I'm sorry to hear that you have been through so much. It doesn't sound like anything would really be done if you told your family what has happened to you and what your brother has done but it sounds like you could trust your step father to help you, is that right?
I think you should sit your mother and step father down, or maybe just your step father as it would be quite a difficult thing for your mother to accept,and tell them everything. You will feel so much better and you will be able to get the support you need.
Are you in school? If so, maybe ask a teacher who you can speak to or if they know of any organisations that you can phone to help you (do you have the NSPCC in America? Or childline?).
However, the advice I think is most necessary if you feel brave enough, is to go to the police. If you don't feel brave enough, contact some kind of other authority, social services etc, because someone has to be informed of this. You may feel as though you are betraying your family but you aren't, you are being brave, courageous and strong. You're brother and your cousin betrayed your family when they molested you and when your brother molested children. They need to be dealt with and you need to be brave and make sure they are dealt with. Everyone who knows hasn't done anything about it, this means its your fate to do this, to deal with this. You don't have to do it alone, we will support you, the authorities will support you and so will your mother and step father.
My mother was raped by her brother when she was about 11 or 12. Her sister knew and didn't do anything, my father found out after they got married and the pressure he felt at not being able to do anything lead to him having a mental breakdown. 6 years later he still suffers with depression. I found out recently and it still horrifies me that nothing was done about it. My uncle has a young daughter now. It makes me sick to know that he raped his little sister and got away with it. Something should have been done. Anything.
You can do this.
xxxxx
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female
reader, Asked Angel  +, writes (20 December 2008):
 I am so so sorry you have been so badly hurt and let down by your father.
Have you ever had any councelling for yourself to help you work though how your feeling. As well as change your veiw on men. I imagine you have a pretty poor feeling about them.
Your bother needs putting in prison not being helped out of trouble.
I know some people will say you MUST tell your mum and step-dad, and I'm not saying you shouldn't but i really think you should get some help to work out how.
It may really help you to speak to someone who is not in the family and doesn't judge.
The most important thing to remember is: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
I can understand why you feel unsure about telling your mum after you dad did nothing but it may help you to start healing.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
xxxx
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