A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for five and a half years; since Christmas 2004. I was planning on proposing to her and then joining her in a civil union, but I caught her having sex with a man. In our bed. I honestly don't even know what to do right now. I'm lost and hurt beyond belief. I was completely in love with her and now, I can't even look at her without wanting to tear my house apart.I mean, what the hell am I going to do? I'm 26 and completely torn apart. Is there hope for me, yet?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): well, now you can be without this cheat/liar/ in your life. better caughting her now (although it is painful and unbearable) than later on. she is not worth it and nothing she says can excuse her behaviour. Grimm Reality and the others are right - time to put out the trash. for good. you deserve better, and there are better women out there. plse take some time and heal andthen make your move. it will be living one day at a time, but you will have quality days again. i wish you luck but plse do not make the mistake of taking her back. she would never change. and i think you know this
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): Yes there is hope for you, but not for her. She is a liar and a cheat, and if she did it before she will do it again (and again and again...). Even if she never actually did it again, why would you want to live with the question lingering at the front of your mind forever?
Walk away proud you found out early instead of when it was too late. I hope you don't have to try and get a ring back. Go find somebody else, she sure did. Play it cool and separate any joint accounts before she sticks you with debts.
And you have to wonder, why did she do it, and with such a high probability of getting caught?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): ok... i think mr Grimm has some serious trust and hurt issues... but... all relationships have their issues. Your trust has been broken and your hurt. But if the relationship aside from this is worth saving you will try.Counseling is the key... without it.. resentment will build and you can never really restart to build what seems to be lost.most people cheat (expecially women) just to get caught, (this is not an excuse mind you, but a fact) they do this because in some part of the relationship they are very unhappy. To me it sounds like communication issues on both your parts.The decision to cheat was hers and hers alone and you have done nothing to contribute to that. But, maybe if you both had better communication between the two of you things would not have gone this far.Look, it hurts to come back from this. I have been there and I can tell you first hand that if its worth saving, fight for it... I did and I have learned my own part in the destruction and rebuilding of my own relationship.good luck
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 You are going to get over it. Sure, it will hurt and might for a long time, but you got no alternative.
You might decide to never trust/love again, but that ain't living. So you have to accept this happened, move on and learn to love again.
How do you do this? Simple, resume the life you enjoyed before you where with her. Do your hobbies, be with your friends, live. And day by day, the hurt will get smaller until one day it is but a memory.
Broken hearts mend.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (6 June 2009):
 Don't listen to a word out of her lying mouth. What is she gonna do, tell you it was a mistake? Blame You! Did she trip over a rug and fall into his cock as her clothes fell off? And believe me, if you ask her, you will get trickle down truth..It was one time....I didnt know what I wanted I was confused...and the worst of all...IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING!and it will all come out in bits and pieces. you havent heard even half of what happened I guarantee you.You will rack your brains and then ask her everything about it and it will consume you.Don't do it...becuase you will most likely never find out the real truth.And there may be others, if she was so bold to do this in your bed(same happened to me 20 years ago) then its not the only time, or most likely the only guy.Did she stop to think about you before she did it?She knew what she was doing...she didnt think she was gonna get caught!Yeah I heard the same crap...the same crap that mine laid on 4 other guys that were stupid enough to marry her and she cheated on every single one of them!Kick her ass out!You have to understand that cheaters will continue their behavior unless they have something to lose.You don't need to get any side of a story! You have all the story you need. She spread her legs, you caught her.The same thing happened to me my man! The exact same thing. 3 weeks before my wedding.Just look at it this way...she did you a favor by making sure that you didn't marry this trollop! Think about it. What would you be feeling if you were married say for 5 or ten years, had kids, a career, a mortgage,etc.please feel free to pm me if you need some support, I have many resources you can draw on from people that have been there.but you need now to get tested for STD's. If you have any joint accounts, cancel them yesterday. If you cant trust her with her vagina, you cant trust her WITH YOUR MONEY!And no, she will try to worm her way back...saying it was a mistake..mistakes are farting in an elevator when you sneeze, not riding another man's pole.She does not love you, she is incapable of it. And make sure you out her to her family, her friends, your friends. Cheaters need to be shamed to no end for the hurt they cause...THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE! She should have left you if she was gonna do it.PM me and I promise you I'll get you some help.
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A
female
reader, The Shadow's Tears +, writes (6 June 2009):
 hello,
oh sweetie i'm so sorry. you shouldn't have to go threw this. maybe you can talk to her, ask her why she did it. get her side of the story.
but i do know this. that's really disrectful and a crime to the heart. maybe you need some time to your self. (not saying leave her, i mean just take, like a day alone to just cry, or think hard on your situation. a day to yourself to get your mind cleared out)
make sure you (if you can) tell her that what she did hurt you, and that you need to know why she would hurt you.
because "a flower should never be robed of the sun"
a quote from me, i felt it held meaning to this current situation.
all i can really say, is try to figure out why she would hurt you, then make your judgment on that.
i really hope this helps
X: Shadow Tears
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