New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084625 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I was doing great until my ex came back to town. How do I handle this?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 August 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 1 August 2007)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Well, my ex is officially back home from her trip of two weeks out of the country for school.

I feel like I had been doing great the past week or two, but the last couple of days (realizing she would be home soon) have really set me back. In fact, I feel down right miserable again, and I haven't even talked to her.

To make matters worse, I thought I had deleted all reminders of her from my computer, but I found a message she sent me a few months ago.

Ironically, I guess, I was thinking about breaking up with her at the time due to some trust issues she had with me for no good reason (she had been cheated on by another guy in the past, but I gave her no reason not to trust me).

The message reads:

"Hey baby! I appreciate how understanding you've been with me, most people wouldn't even bother. They would probably just be frustrated and shut down. So thank you for being you! Thins will get better!"

It makes me both angry and sad that I was willing to work on things with us--and as it turned out, I was really glad I did as I later decided that I loved her--and that she didn't provide me with the same courtesy. Instead, I was left with her "confusion," not "knowing what, if anything she wants," and other wishy-washy statements.

Today is the SIX WEEK mark, and I feel awful.

View related questions: my ex

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (1 August 2007):

Sweet-thing agony auntWell don't feel bad, it's taken my b/f more than 2 yrs. to get over his ex. I came into his life at the 2 yr. mark and he still had hundreds of pics of her on his computer at home, and mementos all over the house to reminded him of their time together. When we started seeing each other, I gradually convinced him that those things needed to be put away. We've been together now for 2 yrs and just the other day, I found some new pics he had taken off his sister's pc a couple of months ago and saved on his work computer. The only way I found them was because I was helping him with a presentation and saw the file. I was furious. I don't know how long you were with your g/f but these things take time. One thing my b/f did was fail to face the truth about the kind of woman his ex really was. He saw her as the person he wanted her to be, not the evil, manipulative person she really was. Your g/f sounds like she's a bit confused and still haunted by her own demons of mistrust from prior heartaches. Try to avoid her if at all possible and stay busy with other friends. It makes it much harder to get over someone if you insist on contacting them, and trying to remain "friends" - that almost never works out, at least not in the beginning of the break up. Maybe even dating a few gals will help you feel better about yourself. It just takes time but I think you're on the right track.

<-- Rate this answer

Add your answer to the question "I was doing great until my ex came back to town. How do I handle this?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.046902100002626!