A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A few months ago I discovered that my husband was visiting several dating web-sites, I found his profile including photo and copies of emails between him and women he had found on the sites. He owns and runs a late night bar, in one mail he was inviting a woman to meet him in the bar. Following this discovery, he moved out for a month, I eventually asked him to come home, mainly for the sake of my two children (boys 8 and 10). 4 months have passed, I am continuing to feel very hostile towards him, I just can't forget what happened, he works 5 nights in the bar till 3-4am, he uses a laptop which I have no access to so I don't know if he is still using the sites, although he says not. He says he loves me and is working so hard to provide for us and he insists he is a good person, and he wants to make it work but he can't continue in this way as I am unable to be tactile with him and we no longer have sex as I can't bear the thought of it. We seem to have reached a crunch point, I am scared of a future without him as we have been together for 17 years, but his actions have made me question every aspect of his personality and our relationship and the fact that I feel I have never really known him - we have spent many months apart over the years, as he worked abroad - I always had trust issues, and now I am sure that he was unfaithful to me during our time apart, although I have never had a evidence of this. Please, if anyone has any advice they could offer I would love to hear it as I feel we are close to ending our marriage. I was able to accept all of the times apart, the late nights in the bar etc. but I seem to be unable to accept these internet relations and what they may actually have led to.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): I have been married for 15 years and last year I found out that my husband had a couple of secret email accounts and that he had cheated on me five years ago when he was working in another country. He is away from home alot due to work and I just found out that he has created 2 more accounts. I am literally sick. We had went to counseling and I thought things were better. I know how you feel. I question everything and this time I REALLY wonder if he will ever change. I won't ever trust anyone and now I am just trying to decide if we should seperate or get a divorce. Anyway, I don't have any answers, but I feel your pain.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): Hunny
I have just found out (2days ago) that my man of 7 years has been chatting to girls on the internet. I found several profiles. 1 with a photo. But all said single. Iam not married and dont have children (im 23) and i feel exactly like you and dont knowwhat to do. He says he did it ages ago while i was abroad and says he wont do it again and it was none sexual.
At this moment sex to me, i hate!
I too will keep an eye on this page for answers.
The only advice i have had so far is to make him get rid of the internet access - for good. ??????
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