A
female
age
51-59,
*ola4
writes:Hi I have been with my partner 3 years I have 2 kids from previous relationship he is always nice to kids but we never do anything altogether I have asked many times can we take kids somewhere park ect.. I hadn't wanted 2 rush things so never asked him 2 move in then as a test 1 asked his reply not just now .. He never has any money and I always pay for things as I have better job but after 3 years it's annoying me thinking he is going along happily living with his parents and 3 days a week he lives with me and contributes nothing is he playing me should I get rid of him even tho I love him but I love my kids more and want what is best for them ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2014): He's most likely immature because he is living like a child. Rent free with parents who are most likely footing the bills for his trips too. He is losing touch with how hard it is to run a household. He won't think to contribute because what's he pay for? Does he realise how expensive the mortgage/rent, electric bills, house insurance, phone and not to mention the food is! He's not making your life any easier so why keep including him? If he's staying 3 nights a weeks then he should be contributing. He should also be making a massive effort with your children because he is in there home! I am particularly less tolerant when ladies write of men coming to live with them and their children. My mums partner made my childhood and adolescence hell and for that reason I can't see why mothers would accept someone into their home if the guy isn't going to be great for their children too. Why waste money feeding him when it could be spent on your and your kids doing something nice? He doesn't deserve you and I think you're seeing through him xx
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (22 September 2014):
 Here are the answers to these important questions that you posed:
"is he playing me should I get rid of him even tho I love him but I love my kids more and want what is best for them ?"
Yes, he's playing you......
Yes, you should get rid of him.....
Makes no difference if you love him. HE's a useless user...
Loving your kids and wanting what's best for them... will reinforce that you follow the advice, above... (/\).
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Lola4 +, writes (22 September 2014):
Lola4 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi thanks for answering my question the fact that I have 2 ask says it all really .. Yes he has a good job but has a son from previous relationship and pays a lot 2 his ex this sounds 2 dumb on my part but he visits his son who lives in Poland 3 times a year and I don't even think he pays for that most times he isn't good with money think his mum pays .. We have been 1 holiday 2gether in 3 years that I payed for and I wouldn't mind but he never seems 2 say no when his ex asked for more money and that's all the time the fear of her stopping him seeing his son has always been a worry 2 him I have said call her bluff ask if your son can come here on a visit but he says if he came she will come 2 but I said tell her if he can't come for a visit the money will be halved he won't do it as scared of what she might do she fills sons head about lots of not so nice things I could write a book in the 3 years and I can't think of a reason to stay with him other than I love him he is also immature
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 September 2014):
 So basically you got another child to feed and care for - albeit a larger child, a MAN-CHILD.
I'm sorry if this has been going on for 3 years, he isn't going to move in. Even if he did it would be a DRAIN on your finances. Because if he isn't contributing for 3 days a week, nor paying his parents (?)he isn't going to start, and if you ask him, I would be on a "not right now I can't afford it" ... I mean, does he even work?
Going to the park or doing "something.. is UP to you. Don't ASK him if he wants to take you all, JUST inform him that Wednesday YOU and the kids are GOING to the park and that he is welcome, just don't bet on him being there.
Seems like you are trying to build a future with a guy who doesn't really want the same things as you.
Have you two even talked future?
I think you have come to the end of the line with this guy.
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