A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together going on 5 years. We have a 2 year old son. We got together when i was 16. I love him very much and i know he loves me. The problem is that we argue a whole lot. It could be the smallest thing and get turned into something big. He cheated on me before but i forgave him. Before i met him i used to always i would never stay with a cheater. Our constant arguing is tearing us apart. And not to mention i found it hard to trust him due to the fact he cheated and i had no clue about it. I want us to be together and be happy without all the fighting. What can we do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe fight over things like if he gets off work early and he doesn't tell me. He thinks it's not a big deal because he feels like i'm trying to keep tabs on him. It's not even that. When he's some where i don't know about, i begin to question his where abouts. What is he doing? Is he cheating? Why didn't he tell me he left early? It's a cycle of getting mad at eachother everyday in and out. I just want it to stop. I'm trying my hardest to forgive him and not show that i don't trust him buts it's really hard. He has a feeling i don't trust him and he gets mad about it. i don't understand how he can expect me to get over it in one day.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 June 2009):
 You say you two argue over little things. What you need to do is figure out WHY.
You might have forgiven his cheating but you still resent him and yourself for it. You need to work on that. If you plan on staying you need to work on the forgiveness. To pretend that you are ok with it is not forgiving. It's OK that you haven't felt totally able to forgive it either.
I said the same thing about NEVER wanting to stay with a cheater, but that rules got changed a little. He knows that he had that ONE chance, if he messes up again I WILL LEAVE. Every action has a reaction. I can not control HIS action, but I can control my own.
It IS ok to want to forgive. It is ok to let it go. But you haven't.
Can you give a few examples of what you fight over btw?
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