A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi ladies, as the end of 2017 is approaching I’ve made a decision to be single for awhile. It seems like 2017 was full of meaningless sex with people I thought it would work out with and it just ended up not going anywhere. So I decided to work on myself and taking care of myself and just letting whoever is for me come to me. But the thing is both of my best friends are constantly going on dates and meeting great guys..and I won’t lie it gets me jealous sometime, but I really want to stay committed to being single and enjoying it while I continue to work on myself and my life. If you guys have every done anything like this how did you stay busy? What did you do to better yourself and how did you not let men distract you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2017): Hi! It's great to be single, especially at 22! As you grow old, you might find a guy, get committed, married even. But sooner or later, you'l realise that first and foremost, you have to love yourself and take care of yourself. No matter how loving your spouse is, you're two separate individuals and will have differences.At your age, I would say enjoy the guys you meet - as people, as individuals. Society puts too much pressure on women to seek "affirmation" of their attractiveness and worth through attention from men. It's not worth it. Go out, explore, try a new sport, new activities, take a trip. Treat the people and the guys you meet as "individuals" with their own views and quirks. Enjoy this time. Have safe sex and explore - but only if you want to. Listen and make friends.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2017): Hi! It's great to be single, especially at 22! As you grow old, you might find a guy, get committed, married even. But sooner or later, you'l realise that first and foremost, you have to love yourself and take care of yourself. No matter how loving your spouse is, you're two separate individuals and will have differences.At your age, I would say enjoy the guys you meet - as people, as individuals. Society puts too much pressure on women to seek "affirmation" of their attractiveness and worth through attention from men. It's not worth it. Go out, explore, try a new sport, new activities, take a trip. Treat the people and the guys you meet as "individuals" with their own views and quirks. Enjoy this time. Have safe sex and explore - but only if you want to. Listen and make friends.
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A
female
reader, p.d632 +, writes (12 December 2017):
I am actually doing the same myself this year. One of the first things I did was to tell the relevant people that I was taking a "dating hiatus." That way, they knew what my situation was and wouldn't invite me into situations where I wouldn't be comfortable/try to set me up with anyone. Also, it helps to keep me accountable to myself.Another thing that I'm doing is a personal purge. I'm going through all of my possessions and getting rid of things that don't fit into the life I want to have. If it reminds me of a time I don't want to be reminded of, I'm throwing it away. Clothes that don't fit or that have too much history are gone. Old letters or pictures I finally realize I don't need to keep, even tucked away.I'm making a list of things I want to accomplish in the next year as well as things that I've always wanted to do but never did (write that story, take that class...). It's about having fun, meeting new people and working on myself. So like a lot of things on my list are to help work on my self esteem. I'm also making plans to meet up with friends I've lost touch with. And I'm planning to take some type of class to meet new people and stay busy thinking about things other than relationships.Also, I'm letting people go who really were just keeping me in a place that I didn't want to be.And making plans with friends that don't involve just going to bars and drinking. Avoiding situations that I know usually just end up with a hookup.I haven't been doing it for too long yet, but so far this is my plan and what I've been doing. Hope it helps you, too! :)
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (12 December 2017):
 Get a new hobby.
Go to the gym.
Start writing a story.
Go for walks.
Go to a new night class.
Join a Zumba class.
Join a reading group.
Find somewhere to volunteer.
Just find stuff to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2017): Males are always going to be a distraction ..it’s nature and normal .. I don’t think you shouldn’t date .. I just feel maybe you’ve trusted the wrong guys, when they have started the “ love bombing ‘ stage .. the lets hook her and get what we want .. what about ...what you want .. Well; your a smart cookie .. how do I know that because you’ve evaluated your prior situation your like nay not having any of that - and hey it’s not an insult on you that you cared to quickly ..First off; stop circulating in the same bars and clubs .. tell your friends let’s be adventures this coming year .. Go to new clubs and new bars .. where you and your friends become the new faces as well .. ( all go together and come home together that’s a rule )Once there you leave ms I jumped in to quick and fell for all his lines .. yes you still want to mingle and yes you will hear some bs but as you take a step back and look at this as fun and not serious .. one of these guys may get lucky and get you .. but by sure he will work hard at it .. and you will make sure 1. This is the man for you ( no meaningless sex) and 2. There is commitment on both sides.. If the guy isn’t what your looking for flirting and chatting and going on mets does not mean sex .. you control your body and brain.. So the guy has to woe you .. don’t wear your heart on your sleeve .. be a little elusive but not so far away .. he gets bored .. be fun be light and see this as your experiment.. I mean what single female can hide from males .. doesn’t mean you need to jump into any light flirting and leaving without a guy says a lot .. if they want to see you they will make darn sure they are back in the pub or club you were in or say yes see you here next week ..Take it slow and have fun
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