A
female
age
41-50,
*ovelybuzz
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend for 12 years, my first one and only. He is a great father and my children are happy and healthy. He has cheated in the past a lot. I felt like cheating too but never did ,not for revenge but I want "other" . After all of these years, Im tired of fighting temptation, tired!I want to be in a open relationship,I don't want to lie and cheat. I dont want to leave him I just have a strong need for "other". My sex life is great I just want "other". Cheating is bad and causes a lot of problems, I believe in being open,but dunno what will be his reaction.If anyboody has experienced this situation, can you guys give me a little advice ?plz.
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revenge, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): Some people can make 'open relationships' work, but it can be very tricky. You could be opening a can of worms. You need to think if you both can cope with it. It may be that your partner, who has cheated on you, may be quite against you going with someone else. So if you are hell bent on going down this road you just have to be totally honest with him so you can both put in place certain rules to protect your relationship.
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (24 January 2012):
The best you can do is tell him this. Just plain and simple. He will end up replying with yes or no. So, you have nothing to loose. You are asking so he can't be mad. Specially if he cheated in the past.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2012): "Cheating is bad and causes a lot of problems"
So do "open" relationships, bad or not.
The kids are watching...what do you want them to live their lives like. They will repeat what you are doing...and not doing.
Think about what you want, and
"He has cheated in the past a lot."
Separation and divorce are not easy answers either...hard situation.
Consider counseling.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2012): Well he himself has demonstrated he is fine with 'other' so why would he be upset? Then He no longer need to sneak around and lie about it. And you get to live this as well.I am not one for such lifestyles. I'm wholly against it but I recognize not everyone is wanting or even capable of living monogamously. For those people who Swing or practice polamory, Open Relationships- I am sure like anything else in this world or the universe, there must be laws, boundaries of behaviours. Rules to goven one by. Recognizing the Home Life and BF and You still work together.All I see is mess, turmoil, angst, cyclic behaviour of fighting and emotional abuse.But I don't see how staying with him if you both want to be monogamous is helping anyone, let alone your children.Do you both want a monogamous relationship? Or are you both thinking of being open? Swingers?I hope Agony Aunt So Very Confused sees this post as she seems better equipped to offer you insight than I do.
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