A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi everyonei wrote a few weeks ago about my parents not accepting my boyfriend.and me and my boyfriend have decided that we want to leave except ill be running away from home but his parents will knowim scared and there is something that is holding me back and i dont know what it is.is it because i am so attached to my parents that that is what is holding me back.but the thing is i am attached to my boyfriend as well and i love him very very much and we have our whole future planned together. has anyone been in this situation before and what can i do. i dont want to hurt my parents either but i love my boyfriend too much to let him go. i really dont know what to doplease helpthanx Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): Hey i Seriousli Understand where you coming from, im Asian and im Going with out with a girl that is mixed race, my family didnt accept it, however we are going out secretly, but there is going to be a time when i will have to tell them, they wont accept it but the way i think about it is that im marrying the girl not my mum or dad, so it is totally my decision, however this girl i know in and out and i know she is the one, make sure you know your man very well because you dont want to lose everything!but seriously in this world of racism and no equality it is hard to live the right way, i beleive everyone is equal no matter of skin colour, religion, etc, but there are always people that dont understand, remember if anything happens say to your dad that even jesus accepted those that were of different races and religions, and jesus died for all of our sins, not only just christians!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): Oh, well that is a particularly difficult place to be in. I can't believe that you would be killed....that is a horrible thing to feel. I can't really advise you what you should do, but I understand your whole fear about the matter.
I think it sounds like you already have decided that you love this man and that you want to be with him. Why not wait until you are officially engaged, and then be prepared to move with him and tell your family and hope they will see how serious you are and hopefully they will come to terms with it.
Being Christian myself, I could never marry a Muslim man as I don't share those values, but to each his own. I don't think my family would abandon me because of it either...but I live in the US, it is a free free country.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank rythemandblues
we are kind of engaged not officially we are waiting for his mother to come back from overseas
and then we will be
we have been going out for over two years
and its not that i am trying to run away from home and he isn't threating me at all but because he is Muslim and i am christian my parents will not accept that at all and even my mum has told me that she would never support me and my dad does not know because if i told him i would probably be killed.
so this is kind of my last option it i leave or i break up with him which i don't want to but im just scared i think
thank you for your reply anyway
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): You say that you feel something is holding you back and it may be your attachment to your parents, then your last post says that your parents would not let you move out until you are married?
Perhaps what is holding you back is that you aren't sure that shacking up and living together with your boyfriend before marriage no matter how well you can afford it is a good idea. Perhaps that is part of your values and your parents as well.
I don't think "moving out and getting your own place" with your boyfriend shows that you are grown up. In fact the maturity level of the people in your age group that choose to live together before marriage is one of the reasons that the over 50% of these arrangements fail at some point before the year mark. In fact "commitment" in the form of a marriage proposal, a ring and a wedding date is the earliest that you should be thinking of starting your life with your boyfriend and moving in together. That is if what you really want is happily ever after.
So maybe just plain old common sense is what is holding you back and it sounds like your boyfriend may be threatening to leave you if you don't move in with him first??? Not sure on that, or why the desperation about moving out in order not to lose him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhahah i live in australia.
but its a cultural thing.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (10 August 2009):
 I can't tell what country you are living in but unless it's some third world country your parents can't legally force you to return home if you don't want to go.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim 19 and he is 22 and yes we both of us have very good jobs he owns 5 businesses him self and im a financial planner so we have very good income.
i have to run away if i left and my parents knew where i was they would drag me back home i know that i am legally allowed to move but my parents do now see it that way,
the only time i can leave is when i am married
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