A
male
age
30-35,
*ayyyyy
writes:Hey every one, ive got two quite big problems that have been bothering me for a while..i go to a college in london right.. im 18, and (not being big headed) im a good looking guy.. well lots of girls like me..im REALLY friendly.. sometimes TOO friendly, im quite a flirt and im not going to lie, i like female attention, but heres the thing right.. when im talking to a girl im OVERLY friendly and i seem to get along with them TOO much!! thats suppose to be a good thing right?! but for me its messing everything up.. in-sted of me going into the "boyfriend" section, i end up in the "very good friend" section.. and thats a HUGE letdown for me.. everyone around me seems to thing im "in the zone" but i CAN ACTUALLY tell when a girl just wants to be friends.. common!ive got one other problem as-well.. but il post it in another question, if youve read to the end of this im very grateful and i hope you can help!all comments are welcome! thanks!kayyyyy
View related questions:
flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jc82  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 Think more about exactly what you want from a girl. This will make you more discriminating when you are talking to them, and you will reject some, and treat others with a bit more enthusiasm. It sounds like now, you spread your adoration around to many girls equally. No girls really like feeling that you like them just as much, not more or less, than their friends. They want you to like them uniquely. But, you have to know more precisely what you want first, and then actively discriminate a bit. Good luck!
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 Limit the time you spend with them in a bar or club. Chat for a while and then disappear. The fact that you have the time to spend all evening chatting with them signals that you have nowhere else to be and no one else to be with and that makes you less attractive.
...............................
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 You are sooooo friendly, it is Unsexy.
Basically, you are addressing certain women's emotional needs too much, and failing at others.
I have lots of experience being "just a friend" and eventually learning to turn Friends into Lovers. It took me years to figure out the formula, but it works for me now.
Here are some clues:
Fear of Abandonment is an emotional need that a really good friend addresses, but too well...because you likely give too much attention that she feels she has not earned, and that kills romantic interests.
Dominance is an emotional need that most "best male friends" fail at, because they are sooo nice, they keep trying to make a girl happy...but end up forcing her to feel like a mother to him. This is a turn off for romantic feelings.
So some simple advice is
1-Make a girl feel that she has earned your attention by pointing out what is unique about her
2-Lead the interactions, so that she never feels like your mother.
If you want more info, I am the author of a book and audio book entitled From Friends To Lovers and you can read and listen to previews of it at my website:
http://www.franktalks.com
-Frank Kermit
...............................
|
