A
female
age
41-50,
*Woody
writes:Help and advice needed. I split with my boyfriend at the beginning of February because I found evidence that he was on dating websites. Since this time, I have found out I am pregnant (20 weeks) - we were trying for a baby.The websites he was on were bdsm sites and since splitting we have sort of got back together - I refuse to move back in with him at this stage though. He promises that he is off his websites and that these sites were a form of porn to him? I can't see this and realise that all men have some fantasies, but the site he was on was one that he would have dealing with women from all over the world on a one to one basis.He has never said anything to me about his fettish and has always been very dull in the bedroom with me. I want to make this relationship work for the sake of the baby, but I don't know whether I am over complicating the situation?He said he is now off these sites, but on the weekend I found a gimp mask and velro bits and pieces in his spare bedroom drawer. I didn't say anything to him as I was snooping so I suppose it serves me right?
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got back together, porn, trying for a baby Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2010): If he meets up with people to share his fetish in a sexual or intimate way, that sounds like cheating to me.
I don't have any experience with BDSM, so I can't really help you with that specifically. Generally I'd recommend trying to make sure he got his 'fix' at home, but if you aren't interested in that I can see why :|
A
female
reader, CWoody +, writes (17 May 2010):
CWoody is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand what you are saying - but is it normal for him to meet up and share his fettish with people. This is betrayal in my eyes?
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A
female
reader, CWoody +, writes (17 May 2010):
CWoody is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks doublecreamer . . .
Your answer helps me put things into perspective. What you are saying seems realistic but what I can't comprehend is that he is accommodating these people and meeting up with them - is this normal?
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A
male
reader, doublecreamer +, writes (16 May 2010):
Liking bdsm sites is fairly normal for some blokes. It is quite possible to distance the action on the internet from day to day reality.I am also a bdsm enthusiast, the more pain a girl is in on the web the better, and i always get the best ejaculations watching vids of girls being forced to orgasm while roped up etcBut all this is totally different frm the real world, where i am a perfectly normal guy who gets on well with almost everyone - including women.. I never imagine them in bdsm action, and treat them perfectly normally. So maybe his fetish is not really harmfull, just a waste of good time, like most of the sex on the internet.
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