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anonymous
writes: I've been with my bf for 4 months. he has never set my world alight but is a nice dependable and funny guy and I thought I would have a stab at being a sensible adult for once and see if love blossomed. It hasn't. Yet for some reason I have hung in there and over the passed few months have gotten to know his family well - and I adore them! His parents are great and I even find myself looking forward to Saturday nights in at their house (this isn't like me!)Now to add insult to injury, I got talking to his brother at the weekend for the first time just the two of us, and found that we really hit it off. He is more intellectual than my bf - and I'm sorry to say this, but better looking (he looks like David Schwimmer....a bit).And you guessed it, I'm thinking a lot of him now, and really have to get out of this with my bf as I'm soooo not feeling it. He is however, and dumping him is harder than you might think as he refuses to let it go. I have tried a few times to be honest, and think the brother thing could be the catalyst - so, any ideas how to dump kindly and keep a chance of a go with the bro?! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (17 August 2006):
 What is your problem? Think of the position you put the brother and the family in a whole. Okay say you do dump your boyfriend and start dating his brother wouldn't Saturday nights at his parents house be a little awkward? You will not be received very well by the parents I'm sure. I mean have you given any of this thought at all. I thought women were more sensitive to things of this nature I guess you are the exception. I hope you do the right thing. Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006): Dump him and DONT go for his brother!
theres plenty more fish in the sea, so get fishing before they get taken!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006): I have no ideas on how you can perform this 'deed' but I do have to say, I am clearly disturbed by your decision that you feel 'entitled' to have a go at this brother with little or no concern for the hurt and deep division, and discord your behaviours could cause a family that you claim to adore. Frankly, I'm amazed by your blatant insensitivity and selfishness of what you are proposing to do. Can you not think ahead, and realize the problems this would cause for two brothers who have a family allegiance to each other? Not to mention the fallout of what their parents and other siblings could endure because of your unthinking behaviours. Start putting some 'value' in family bonds and realize that this is terrible idea. If you have tried to dump this guy a few times, as you put it and it was unsuccessful....perhaps you need to understand that this guy has strong feelings for you. He will not take it well that you are trying to hook up with his brother.
So if you dump him...leave the brother alone and go find someone else, elsewhere. One of the most significant things about being mature is being able to recognize that the world does not revolve around you and just what you want. There is a good family here, that stands to be hurt by your uncaring actions.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): In short, no.
I don't know if you have a sister or not, but how would you feel if she started dating your ex that you so loved?
Maybe girls are more understanding than guys..but there would have to be some bitterness. Do you really want to drive a wedge between two brothers?
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