A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: OK, My ex gf and I broke up 4 mo. ago. We got in contact about two weeks ago, started talking, then she wanted to hang out. We did, everything went great. I had tried to get her back in the past to no avail, and after a few days got scared bc I thought she was stringing me along. I told her I still had feelings for her and couldn't be friends.In response she emailed me saying that she was trying to reconcile slowly bc she thought that I could put her first in my life( reason we broke up, were together for almost three years), but now she realized that I hadn't changed and that we need to "get over" eachother. I ran into her two days later... I told her I was sorry, and that I made a mistake, and to show her I really had changed I would be her friend no matter what, that it would be difficult, but that I wanted her in my life on good terms, rather than not at all( I mean that). We have been talking everyday since then, and hung out today. I brought up our convo and asked if she thought we could be together again, and what she wanted. She said to be friends that I had "shut the door" on us with my actions. I want to have her back, I know we are meant to be together, and she is looking for a job for the summer in my town rather than moving back home (3 hours away). What can I do? How can she feel like getting back together one week, and now not want to? Will she come back around? I felt great about us, we were flirting, ect, but now I feel devestated again!!!
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male
reader, TimmD +, writes (23 April 2010):
It sounds like you're going to have to talk more with your actions then words. Trying to convince her through conversation or promising stuff is not what she wants to hear. SHOW her that you're putting her first. Show her that she is your friend. Show her that she is the most important thing in the world to her. Show her that she is special. If you do all of that, and truly mean it when you do it then she will see all of this. She's already leaving the door open for you by looking for a job close to you.
SHOW her you care. Don't just try to convince her by telling her.
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