A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My friend, she's gay, and we've known each other for a couple years but really got close since the middle of last year. Usually I hate being close with people and I hate telling them my personal problems. I'm more of the person who's the listener of other people's problems. But with my friend, for the first time ever...I really began to open up to her and tell someone all my true feelings, thoughts and problems. For once I had someone to vent with. She's even helped me through the times when I felt like nothing, she showed me how wonderful I am. And then I think I began to fall for her. But I thought I just felt like that because she's someone I open up to and my feeling are just like a crush and it will go away soon after like my other crushes. But then months later I still feel like that, in fact my feelings have gotten stronger. Every time she texts me I get excited, when I see her my heart melts and she talks to me I smile a lot. Then when she got a girlfriend, I feel sad and I practically cry so much now. I hate feeling this way. I always wanted to fall in love with someone, you know like my dream hunky guy, but no I had to fall for my friend who's a girl and who has a girlfriend. I hate this, and I won't tell her my feelings because there's no point, she's in a happy relationship and I'm going off to college soon( and she wants to keep in touch! oh great!), so...I want to hate her. I want to forget her, I try ignoring her and looking at all her flaws but I end up thinking about her more and loving her more, in fact I think about her practically all the time now and I try looking at other guys but its like I don't see them, she's all my heart wants. I don't know what to do. How can I learn to hate someone I love? I want to forget her.
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (10 June 2010):
You can't hate someone because you want to, any more than you can love someone. I do feel for you - it must be heartbreaking, but like everyone else who's been in your situation, you should try to look ahead. I's not the end of the world, you know.
Besides, what was that old saying about the movie not being over till the credits roll? Keep your hat in the ring. It's not like she's married to the other woman (and these days even that doesn't count for much).
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