A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi,just need some little advice or help.I dont understand my self. Im 40 years old and my husband is far older than me. i love him dearly i have no doubt wid that. but after nearly 10 years of marriage, things change. he is always loud and aggressive now. I did try to adjust very much to his way of living, behaviour etc. but now after a long years of always loud. Now we have trouble again. why is it like that. i dont feel crying anymore, i dont feel love anymore, like i dont care anymore. and i dont like this feelings. i want to love him the way i did before. Id tried to talk to him and told him maybe we can go to marriage counselling but he always reject it. now he is getting more worst than before. he can able to speak more words which hurting me badly. i dont like the way he talk to me now, but i dont want also what i feel now. I feel like, no feelings anymore. Like i wanna cry but i can not anymore. i feel like, its useless to cry bout him because he will do the same anyway after a few days. i have a feelings that the percentage of my love to him is going down because of what he is doing. but i dont like this feeling. I want to accept who he is and still wanna love him the way he is. my problem is inside of me, my heart, my feelings, i dont feel anything anymore. i need a help, i wanna go back to that the same feeling that i had for him the first years we are together.. i want the love the sweetness get back in our spirit again. and i dont know what to do.. pls. have a little help on me.. thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2012): Try to enjoy your life more without involving him and try doing new things with him and you might find that it helps. I've been married 10 years too. He's only 7 years older than me but he speaks a different language and is loud too. I have felt like you are feeling before too. I think in any relationship there are highs and lows. Hopefully your just on a low and you can get back up from this. Do you think you could love him as much again if he doesn't change?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2012): "i wanna go back to that the same feeling that i had for him the first years we are together.. i want the love the sweetness get back in our spirit again. and i dont know what to do.."
Unfortunately, nothing you can do. You can't turn back the clock, as you said yourself: "after nearly 10 years of marriage, things change."
And given he's much older than you, things change even more. You're no longer the much younger woman he married, and he's now much older than the man you married.
All you can do is make the best of your current circumstances; if you can't, then you need to leave him.
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