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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My teacher and i have become insanely close, it's even gotten to the point where we are saying i love you. over my whole spring break we spent every day together. every time he would drop me off at my house i would kiss him on the cheek, hug him, and tell him that i loved him. none of this is sexual whatsoever, but there is like a bond that we share, it makes me so warm inside when i think about him and he has said the same thing. he even calls me his daughter sometimes, and helps me, and is always there for me. i don't have a dad, and it feels so nice to give him that title. sometimes i think back and wonder how he just popped into my life, like it was destiny. we would talk everyday after school, IM each other, and talk/text on the phone, it started to be overwhelming. i understood that we had an unconditional love for one one another, but teachers,parents, students all became very concerned. from someone else's eyes our relationship often labeled unhealthy, but in a way it was. For a long time he had a crush on my mother who was and still is dating someone, or else she said she would have dated him. it bugs me so much bc none of this would be a problem if he had dated my mom. i could be calling him my dad, but sadly i cannot. he sent me an email after an afternoon i had spent with him explaining how much he loved my and how much he would miss me when he moves. the email actually made me cry. i accidently left it up and my mom read it. she became so worried that we had something going on between us, and went and had lunch with him. my mom told him that he totally crossed the line and it was an unhealthy relationship. he took a step back and realized how all of this could eventually ruin his career, and how it affected me. i too understood the oddness of our relationship. but ever since my mother and him went to lunch, i have not spoken to him except through IM 2 or 3 times. i have explained to him that i feel like he is not the same guy, and i am so shy and nervous around him. i want to have a healthy normal relationship with him, but i feel like i'm almost scared of him now. he use to hug me every day after school and tell me how much he loved me with his whole heart and soul. and i was the kid he never had. i feel like, in a way my mother totally ruined it for us. but if i were her i would have done the same thing. it was only for my protection.( i make myself sick thinking about this all). anyways, i miss him so much, and we don't have that much time before he moves. i want to be able to tell him i love him again, but i can't, and it kills me. please help.
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male
reader, Rajesh Nair  +, writes (7 April 2009):
 I perfectly understand your concern. You are right. This could land you in more trouble. Let's find out some other way out then.You need to work on two things now. Your relationship with your teacher as well as your Mom.Could you convince him to have lunch with you once, without your Mom knowing about it? You could talk to him regarding everything and get to know his point of view too. Maybe this would give you an insight into how he feels about the whole thing. Tell him that you do not intend to see this relationship end this way and that you still want to have the same warm relationship you shared earlier with him. Tell him how much he means to you. Don't be shy as this may be the only chance you have of making things work. And I'm sure that his response would surely pave a way for you to make some decisions regarding how you need to continue with this relationship.Also, if possible have a chat with your Mom. Tell her that you are greatly disturbed with whatever has happened. As your well-being and safety comes first for her, I understand that she may be initially reluctant and adamant for any talks with you, regarding this relationship. But as she is your Mom, and she loves you a lot, she would surely be able to see your point of view too. You can always convey to her, that you are just trying to find a father figure in your teacher. And ask her, if she sees anything unhealthy in this. Try and reduce her fears and win over her trust.Is this possible for you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you, i appreciate all the feed-back.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell see, i would do that. but if my mother found the link i think she would be mad. and he might think it's inappropriate, bc he does not want to cross anymore boundaries. i have no idea why i cant just talk to him. he was my best friend.
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male
reader, Rajesh Nair +, writes (7 April 2009):
I'll give you an idea. Since you are shy and you won't be actually able to say all this to him, why not send him the link to this web page? Tell him to go through everything you have written here. And as he is the only person who can do something about this, it won't be a bad idea to let him know everything about how you feel regarding all this.If you don't agree to this solution, let us know. Will be more than happy to suggest something else. Cheer up :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno , my mother understands the kind of relationship we had, and she just thinks i will end up being hurt. and my friends know too
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno, my mother know the kind of relationship we have. she's a really good mom and she's not mad, she just thinks it will end up hurting me.
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