A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a huge crush on this guy Mike that I have been friends with for 16 years and I'm extremely close with his family.Even in high school I had a crush on him. I never once thought he looked at me the same. And a little over a year ago I had gotten involved with the wrong people and the wrong things and in this period I became friends with Mikes brother Tony(whom he doesnt even really speak to). We became friends kind of under false pretenses and wound of sleeping together a few times. To be honest I can barely remember it or why it even happened but I know it did. I did apologize to Tony and told him that it had to stop and we decided never to tell anyone about what had gone on between us. And now recently Mike has confessed his love for me and I want nothing more but to tell him that I feel the same but because of what happened between Tony and I I'm afraid he will completely reject me. I'm not sure if I should tell Mike about what happened or just tell him that were better off just staying friends in fear of hurting him if I tell him the truth. Mike was completely aware of the fact that I had gotten involved with some bad things but I dont think he has any idea about Tony and I. Please help.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 I think you need to tell him. The chances are very high that he will find out eventually from his brother (he may even know already). You'll also be living in constant fear of him finding out.
It's much better for you to be honest at the start, that way he won't feel you're trying to hide anything, which is important. Much worse would for you to be having a great relationship for several years, and them for him to find out, freak out, and leave.
If he does love you, like he says, then it will be ok.
One tip: tell him the sex with his brother was terrible, that you felt only a little for him (but not nothing, you felt something).
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