A
male
age
41-50,
*roncoDude28
writes: I have been on abilify for four years and have been slowly getting smaller doses. And I want to be off it cause of increased urinating, tremors muscle twitching. I was on Geodon for a while. I am really hoping to get off of it next week cause I got no more stress. I got a fiancée now, apartment. I got nothing to worry about anymore. I am well enough to take over my ssdi. I don't want a payee anymore. I am well enough to manage my money. I worked into it for ten years. My parents think that I can't manage my money but I have done it before. They told me that the government said they I can't touch it but how can they tell me i can't touch it when I work into for so long. My dad saved up some money for me for a new car but I don't want a new car anyway. My dad is assuming that my car will break down every week which is absurd. I want my money that he saved up and putting crap into my head for a while and I'm sick of it by now.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 March 2014):
 Gawd OP you sound JUST like my 29 yr old son who is on SSI.
He blew a total fit last week because his dad who is his payee would NOT agree to let him manage his own money and move in with a girl he just met. My son has impulse control issues. He gets SSI and was disabled from birth. When he blew this childish tantrum we told him point blank..if you want to be TREATED like an adult you must BEHAVE like an adult. this mean NO whining. NO public (facebook) bashing of mommy and daddy, no threats.
IT means map out a written plan and show me for a decent period of time you have the ability to control your actions.
It sounds to me as if you worked for ten years and either had an injury or your impairment became greater. Either way it sounds like your judgement and your ability to deal with stress are compromised.
Do you have a written budget? if not, that's step one.
write a budget.
take it to your father and say... "this is my budget and I would like to prove to you I can stick to it, how can we attempt this?"
once you can prove to your father (who is your rep payee) that you will properly handle your money and stick to your budget then perhaps you can petition SSA to be your own payee.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 March 2014):
 I hear a lot of I WANT (almost like a tantrum) but I near none of respect for your parents.
I get that you WANT to be off your meds, but you really need to have your doctor help you with that. There was without a doubt a good reason you were put on them in the first place.
Meds have side effects. Once you doctor takes you off meds, some of those can still stick. You might still have increased urinating, tremors, muscle spasms. Again, this is where you talk to your doctor.
Instead of all this anger why not ask your parents what you NEED to do to SHOW them that you can take over the finances from now on? Because demanding stuff, doesn't show squat.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (21 March 2014):
 To be honest I think your parents have every right to be concerned.
Not long ago you had difficulty trying to set up some kind of account and you were very angry with your fiancé for not 'helping [you] when [you] can't think on [your] own.' Do you remember that?
You haven't been with your fiancé all that long, she too has a learning disability, and you've only recently moved into this apartment together. You may be doing what you're supposed to do most of the time, but obviously not for long enough that they feel comfortable transferring control of your finances to you.
Your dad probably doesn't think your car is going to break down any second but know that it MIGHT one day and he simply wants you to be prepared when it does. I think that's a good thing.
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