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female
,
anonymous
writes: This is pretty embaressing. I'm 15 and haven't had a boyfriend yet. I would say I am friendly to everyone, but guys don't like me like that. I like guys and right now I have a crush on one inpeticular, I just don't know what to do. I am not nerdy at all. I get pretty good grades in academic classes. I try to look good each day, I want to become a fashion designer. I am on the softball team. I'm even in clubs after school but no likes me enough to ask me out. I was asked to slow dance at homecoming and if I go out I meet people but it never turns out to anything more. I really want someone to want me. I'm not desprite but I just want someone to like me back and don't know how. Any ideas?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2007): To be honest, look sexy all the time. Don't look slutty but were tight, fitting clothes. Also, flirt with the person that you like, alot.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): im goin through almost the same thing, except im younger. I'm 12 and i know its really hard to like someone and not have them like you back. I'm not a nerd, but im not one of the most popular people. We had a dance recently and i didn't get asked to dance once!! it seems that all the girls that are basketball players and cheerleaders get all the guys, and that really hurts sometimes. What hurts the most is when you know that someone means everything to you and you mean nothing to them. All i can say is just wait and let them come to you. If that doesn't work out for you, then go out there and just ask him! I know it's alot easier said than done, but get to know him first. If he says no, the world's not gunna end. I think you should just wait, though. It hurts alot, and you might think that just because im 12 i don't know what your going through, but i do. Just wait...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2006): hey there...i wouldnt worry bout it too much...im pretty much in the same situation, iv never had a bf, i am really sporty, am in weekend clubs, try to look my nicest and act friendly to everyone...but nothing ever happens. My only difference is that im 2 more years older than you being 17! Although i know it gets you down at times and its hard seeing and hearing of all your friends latest boyfriends and such, I just keep the attitude of thinking about when the right guy comes along its really going to be special and always remember, be yourself because they have to like you for who you are.
xx
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (28 November 2006):
 Just be patient, some girls seem to get blokes really easily while others just dont, I always got them easily but they never lasted whilst my friend who did`nt start dating until she was 18 found Mr Right almost straight away and 23 years down the line they are still together while im still hunting.
Sometimes when we want things so badly it makes us sad and we feel like a failure, we blow things out of proportion and this in turn makes us feel different and isolated and un-attractive, it is a viciouse circle.
My advice would be to continue as you are doing and dont loosen your moral values or change anything about yourself just to have what you think everyone else is having.
Be true to yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006): You're embarrassed of asking this question, or are you embarrassed that you haven't had a bf at age 15?
Well, girls in generally have their bodies and their mentalities become more refined faster than the boys at that age. So at the very least, having a boy at that age like you back would possibly mean that boy like you for superficial reasons. However, there are the uncommon few that may see for who you are, for your attributes, talents, and so on and so forth, so that's always a possibility.
Aside from that, you can't make others like you. Liking you, either intimately, or friendship-wise is something that should come naturally. If people can simply make others like or love them, then this world would easily be a massive indecisive battle of the tragic and witless. In other words, if someone cannot like you naturally, then wouldn't it mean that these people are either blind or unable to factor in your best qualities? Wouldn't that mean, that it's better to go on about your own life without having to worry about such trivial matters? You'll have a much greater chance to find guys take notice to you after high school.
Rather than dress up like a tramp, or be loud and obnoxious, I suggest you stay your course, and just concentrate on your studies, your hobbies and general interests. Having a good image and good grades in high school is detrimental to getting accepted into college or university.
If you're really a great catch as u feel you may be, then don't worry about such things at the moment. I'm sure over the next two or three years, you'll be able to refine your feminitiy, mentality, and foundational characteristics even further. By that time, for sure, you might come back here and ask things like, "How do I kiss for the first time?" or "What should I give my bf for our 2nd anniversary?", etc.
[wink]
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A
female
reader, des16 +, writes (28 November 2006):
 dont worry, try not to rush into boys. have a childhood first, its something that everyone wishes they could have again, boys will come to you. if they havent noticed you yet, then that just means that they and yourself are not ready.
i told myself that i wanted to be with someone so i went looking. all i found were mistakes.
i surpose all i am trying to say is if you go looking for someone and you find out its not what you thought it would be than stop looking and wait....
trust me once i stopped looking and started waiting i found the best thing that could possibly have happened to me.
be patient, it will come to you.
if you like this boy then follow your heart, but please dont rush, theres a saying, take your time to smell the roses.
good luck with your future career it seems you have it all worked out. i hope someone see's you for who you are.
xxx
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