A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi All, I would just like some opinions on my questions and would like too know if any one has ever been in a similar situation.Do you believe that it is possible for someone too love you so deeply that it is virtually impossible for them too be with you? I mean like if someone says they love you so much,but can't be with you does that actually make any sense at all? I thought if someone truly does love you, they would accept you flaw's and all wouldn't they?The reason i am asking is because my best friend is besotted by her ex boyfriend ( do not ask me why, he never really showed her love)and i know she loves him still even though she trys her best not to show it (but i am her friend so of course i can see it). She rarely speaks about him but when she does, its like the life she had has been sucked out of her. I have asked her on many occasions to come out with me places ( to take her mind off him) or do something, but she just seems so down anything i try too do doesn't cheer her up. Her ex emotionally scarred her and shes told me everytime they speak now it just ends up in an argument. I know my friend and i know shes an understanding woman but from what she has told me, her ex just doesn't seem to understand why he has hurt her so bad. I am thinking of contacting him myself too tell him too leave her be, is this wrong of me? or would it just cause more problems for her?As for my earlier questions, i was speaking too my friend today and she said that she spoke to her ex today and that he said too her he really truely does love her and that 90% shes perfect and 10% shes not and its that 10% that stops him wanting too be with her. I was gob-smacked when she told me this is what he actually said too her. She is such an amazing, beautiful person and for her ex too base his feelings for her on a percentage basis, does anyone else think that's really pathetic? I hate too see her like this because i know she has always been there for him but he has always seemed too take her forgranted. I told her she deserves so much better, she herself knows that too. The one thing that really got me thinking was when she said too me that he said too her i love you so much,but we can never be together. Her reaction too this( when speaking too me)was; "Will it ever be possible to find someone that will love me and WANT too be with me forever?" It's like she has completely lost all hope that in her eyes now, for her too have a relationship with someone new and for it too last she has too block out the love part of it just too have someone around.This is not my friend, she's a loveable person and for me too see her lose hope in love and the meaning she has for it has devastated me. Even so too the point it has made me question my relationship with my boyfriend!
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (29 September 2011):
 It's a "fact of life" that we can't "fix" our friends, after they have been damaged..... AND, we can't shoulder their emotional burdens for them...
That said... I believe the best a real friend can do is stand by, at the ready, for their friend.... AND, IF ASKED can offer honest, candid assessment of the friend's goings-on..... Otherwise, you have to watch the trainwreck from behind the glass....
Good luck... to both you AND your friend.....
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