A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of five years and I broke up. We're still trying to be friends but it's really hard. I miss him like crazy and would love for him to be a part of my life again. It sucks not having him around.We were living together for a year and during this time I lost my job. For a couple months things were really tight. I didn't have a lot of money and sometimes he would have to pay for things for me (I did pay him back when I got a job). He wasn't a very affectionate person and sometimes I wanted attention and to feel loved. When I asked to cuddle, hold hands or for a hug and kiss he would get angry. He says I am very needy.Towards the end of our relationship we would fight and during our fights I would get upset and cry. We'd fight a lot so I would end up crying a lot. Because of all the things we've been through he has built up a lot of resentment towards me. He thinks I'm psychotic (even though I am really not) because I would cry when he would yell at me and want attention sometimes. I have changed a lot since we broke up. I am a lot stronger now, but I still miss him and want him back. How can I change his opinion of me so he'll take me back?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): Classic abusive man. He feels like crap when you hurt and are sad so he angers at you and abuses you further. Narcissistic men are this way as well. If you make them feel bad- they resent you and come to disrespect and even loathe you.
He's not a healthy, loving man. He's toxic.
Why would you want him back? So you can replay the abuse?
No. You are smart and loving and therefore will seek counselling to get stronger and wiser and outgrow such emotionally shallow to emotionally stunted men from your life.
You are a Canadian Woman and need to get Kick Butt.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): Dont know why you want to get back with this man? Why did you have to ask for cuddles and kisses. Thats just not normal. The man should be wanting and hugging you without you needing to ask. To make you cry and saying your needy is just horrible. Sorry to say this but it sounds like he didnt love you and maybe for a long time wanted your relationship finished. The best thing you can do is accept that you are over and to move on. You deserve a good loving man and your ex just isnt that man for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): "How can I change his opinion of me so he'll take me back?"Use reverse psychology: Ask yourself how can he change your opinion of him so you'll leave him alone? Answer that question, then do the exact opposite.Impossible? Exactly. You can't change his opinion any more than he can change yours.
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