A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i keep worrying about the future. when my father first found out about me and my partners big age gap he was furious with me and told me i was never to see him again. i wasn't happy with this at all as my father has hardly ever been in my life so i felt it was unfair of him. i disobeyd him a couple weeks later not to spite him or get back at him in any way just because i missed my boyfriend so much. my mother was on holiday at the time and my father was waiting for me outside my boyfriends house. him and my uncle threatend mei still keep having nightmares about it and it was 4 months ago that it happend. it's made me really paranoid but i'm not ever going to stop loving my partner, i don't want to hurt my dads feelings but ever since he threatend me hes become nothing more than a stranger. i don't want him in my life anymore i know i will always have my mums support no matter what and she doesn't like the age gap between me and my boyfriend but she knows it breaks my heart to be apart from him.when i finish school i want to go live with my partner and be close with my mum but im terrified my dad will hurt me, although i know my partner can protect me. i just want an easy life. i just want my dad to be gone from it sometimes i find myself wishing terrible things upon him even though i know he only did what he did to protect me but i want him out of my life any help wud be greatly appreciated
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male
reader, the one who doesn't know  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 i can see you feel really in love with this guy. and pardon me for my old-fashioned mind (even though i'm 13). if it makes you happy, if it makes your lfe count every day, than you should tell your dadd that. your life will be miserable if you disobey your dad, and will be miserable if you obey. so try and get to turn the situation at your favor. i can see why is that choice. you want more mature guys, who have deeper understanding of life, and that as had more life experiences. he on the other side, likes you for some reason only he knows. you know what. i think we should stop trying to understand "why we love someone" and focus on "how to love someone"
best wishes, hope i was of help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit's not creepy it's only creepy to closed minded people and my fathers like way older than him but thanks for that advice and by the way years and years ago this would be the norm there is no real normal it's just want society deems normal and i refuse to be societies slave i found someone that makes me happy and gives me much more support than anyone ever has so maybe i think its creepy the fact people decide to stay in loveless marriages were they are cheating on eachother were they are terrified to tell eachother what they really think and my relationship a happy commited one full of love despite age where you can look past everything straight to the heart of a person is normal
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 Your father is probably trying to protect you.
He's been around awhile, and he's learned many things that you have yet to learn. That's what parents are for. I'm not saying they're always right, but he's older and wiser, and I'm sure that he's looking out for your best interest and if he's a normal father he loves you and would do anything for you. I know that boys your age can be (I didn't say all of them, but it's common) immature, but if we're talking a 20-year age gap... no decent 37-year-old man would get involved with a teenager. Wait till you get to university and you'll be around thousands of guys, most of whom are much more mature than high school boys.
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A
male
reader, the one who doesn't know +, writes (12 November 2008):
okay. now it has gone from normal, to creepy. not that I disaproove, but a guy with 37 years, is old enough to be your father! maybe his even older than your father! so i can see why your father is over-reacting. but i keep the same idea as earlier
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell realy big age gap is the only reason, being 20 years older and im not at school i'm in college i would have understood if my dad had been angry with me and not talked to me for a bit, but my dad threatend me some of the stuff he said he'd do if i ever saw him again still really scares me now. the age gap may look bad and i think my dad was thinking my boyfriend is a pedo which he isnt because i'm legal and my boyfriend never treats me like a child he treats me based on my behaviour.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiona 20 yr one
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 What kind of age gap are we talking about here?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): you are right my advice to you is to stay strong no matter what happens.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know that it's love i've had a few boyfriends and although i've not had much life experience i know it's love though cause i would do absoloutly anything for him and i know he would do the same for me i'm willing to go through all the abuse of people thinking i'm sick and everything but what i'm not happy about is seeing my father and having really bad dreams about it. i know my dad is trying to protect me but in his own twisted way i think i'm at a stage in life where i should be left to make my own mistakes
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): You are still young and have your hole life a head of you,Your right your father is just trying to protect you.
Your father can see throw this man and you are not able to see it yet,don't let love blind you.How do you even know it is love and not just lust.You love him right? but are you in love with him?and dose he fill the same way about you.the only reson I am asking you this is becouse I once was in your shoes.I was just 14 and my boy friend was 19 me and him was together till I trund 21,my father did not like him at all.To make a long story short me and him are no longer together,and he put me throw a lot of shit,i was blind by what i thought was love but in the end i found out it was only lust.
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