A
female
age
51-59,
*hippy2
writes:Help! I feel like giving up - My boyfriend of 3 yrs just doesnt get it or want to - We spent a lovely evening again - a little shopping with his daughter, nice dinner, all the time with him joking and touching etc... I had to stop at the Rx and he jokingly said 'dont forget condoms' ( I am on the pill but off a week and going to use them as back up) Anyway, we never use them as we have been monogomous for three yrs - I think! I showed him I bought a lively three pack and he smirked - I thought for sure we would try them tonight - I put them under his pillow and he ignored them and the fact i wanted to have sex- I dont get it - he teases me - we had sex the night before - he knew I wanted it - So WHY DOES HE DO THIS????? He will say just lie here I will hold you - but DAMN after all that playing I think it is mean to not follow through - I love him and he says he loves me and he says he doesnt want to go out with anyone else but he was on at least two of the dating sites he is registered on within the last 12 hours! ( I checked cause I had a feeling ). This is maddening! I have tried talking to him and he just doesnt answer - Any advice PLEASE????? I want sex more often.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): Hi Hunny
How long has this being going on? And when you do get to have sex hunny is everything ok Im going down the line here first that he may be having a problem in that department and is not saying anything to you....
Having said that, if sex is great when you do straggle him down, And you are doing all the mum stuff and being a partner and mother and all the hard work that goes with that then I would say dont be a doormat! If he has you there and is not treating you with respect not having sex with the woman lying next to you... most men say no wonder a man needs porn, But you are a willing partner.. Hunny you need to sit down and talk properly with him about this dont be popped to one side with excuses talk properly and tell him just how you feel mention everything and hunny dont let anyone use you ever...I do in a way hope that for you he has a problem down there that can be sorted but if its not that then you need to think after your chat if nothing changes if you want to be in this any more love PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (3 March 2008):
Chippy2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLet me also add - I do ALOT for him - he just took me and his girls ages 10 and 12 to jamaica he and I are going away for the weekend to NY for a concert - He counts on me to be there for him - decorate house, do projects, help with his girls, gardening and landscaping..etc. But what I really want is security and a hug - and of course sex - I seem to be the one to initiate mostly - It also worries me the amount and type of porn on his computer - More advice please?
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A
female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (2 March 2008):
Chippy2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your insightful comments - My self-esteem has taken a nose dive for sure - I did tell him I was unhappy about him being registered on the sites - The last one he registered for was just Feb 12th! Right before valentines day and my b-day - I dont think that he has ever met anyone from the sites but I am sure he has im'd and such - and today I had a chance to peek at the history of his computer and there is an immense amount of porn - I already told him that if he is looking at it why cant we try some of what he wants to look at. I know it is not me cause I have others who want to go out with me and I am open to most things - Could he be scared? We are both divorced - This is so upsetting to me cause we get along so well and he makes comments that make it sound like we will be together a long time - But his internet dating sites and porn are making me not want to be with him - IN fact so you know the pics he has on his sites are the ones I took when he and I were happily in Jamaica - I told him that was really crass! So I have discussed it with no results really - what to do now?
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (2 March 2008):
 Hi,
He's registered on dating sites still? Well what do you think that means other than him at the very minimum keeping his options open.
My guess is he is masturbating before coming to bed hence the lack of interest in you.
I wouldnt dump him because of the masturbation but I dont know why you accept him visiting the dating sites.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (2 March 2008):
 he is registered on dating sites? eh HELLO??!!!! why? and you know this and are 'ok' with this? hun come on, he may not be cheating on you but using dating sites is for the single and desperate - not someone his age who is supposed to be in a relationship. i would be worrying about this more then the lack of sex! is he not satisfied with you? why does he need these sites? as for the teasing - well if we did this we'd be single and a cock tease, he does and you roll over say nothing, while he checks into a dating site? this isnt a relationship, this is a joke, and he is the one laughing. talk to him, tell him how you feel, but to be honest if it was me, i'd leave him and his computer alone and wish them all the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008): Hi Hunny
You no if a woman did this we would be called a prick teaser and that applys to him as well Id be none to happy if it were me Id feel like he was winding me up to the point of exploding then pouring water on my fire..Talk seriously with him love tell him just how this makes you feel and just say if he has no intention of any sexual activity then stop with the teasing as its bloody frustrating and how would he like it. In a calm way so as not to get into an argument hun, Surely he will understand this my ex husband did this to me on a regular basis and it was the most horrible feeling ever he took great delight in this so hunny sort it out once and for all so you dont feel unwanted and your self esteem takes a nose dive, Im sending you a link on self esteem for self help just incase hunny it will be there if you need a bit of a uplift ...
http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php
This will help incase your unhappy with the situation and you have no one to turn to have a read and get strong hun TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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