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female
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anonymous
writes: My guy mate is really frustrating me.The other day he told me he fancies me and that he wanted to go out with me, but i told him that i didnt want to go out with him. He asked me again but this time he started going on about how depressed he is and how he wants to die. Again I said no and that he will find somebody else. By now I was getting quite frustrated and then he started being really mean to my girl mates. I decided it would be best if i avoided him for a while. He was then really mean and kept blaming everything on me, why doesnt he understand that I have feelings? I dont want to lose him as a friend but I dont know what to do if he continues like this! Help!!
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (24 March 2006):
 This is very much a balancing act as the other respondee kind of pointed out. You have to asses his strengths and weaknesses; if you think he can take the tough love then be prepared to give it out, if you dont then a softer approach is needed.
Obviously he has deep-seated problems with dealing with rejection. He sounds depressed to me and depressd people are often very self-centred especially in their depressive phase. What you might be able to do is approach some of his friends or social group that you trust and tell them about the problem. Maybe then they will be able to be there for him and take the heat off of you. Hope that helps.
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male
reader, d4u04 +, writes (23 March 2006):
 This sounds like a friend of mine who is constantly suicidal, all you can really do is be there as a shouler to cry on if he needs to talk but tell him straight you won't take his verbal abuse, you're there to help, not be his emotional punch bag. But the things about wanting to go out with you just sound like attention seeking and either wanting your sympathy or you to go running to him when he clicks his fingers, don't let him win with this side of the situation, don't cave in when he wants you to and if he is normally quite a strong person and can handle tough love then tell him straight to get a grip, and that he will find someone who will make him happy if he stops being such an emotional wreck.
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