A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,there is a girl in my class and we used to be good friends. We´d sit together and talk about all sorts of things. Then she told me that she loved me and wanted to go out with me. I didn´t fancy her, so I said ´no´ nicely, as I still wanted to stay friends with her. But since then she has been really horrible, telling people that I´m gay, and it really upsets me. I´ve tried to talk to her, but she ignores me. She´s told everyone that I´ve treated her badly, but I just don't understand what I´ve done wrong. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): Find a girl that you like and ask her out. You'll probably really only hang out at school but it will drop the gay card. As for that girl she isn't really a friend if sees going around making up roomers about you, for give her and move for ward.
A
male
reader, NightLad  +, writes (23 April 2009):
 I’m sorry to hear the situation you are in. However, it is important you realize that you did absolutely nothing wrong. Not all feelings of love are reciprocated. It sounds as if this girl is very immature and juvenile; she probably has not had much experience with romantic relationships.
Count yourself fortunate to have been honest and mature enough to decline her advances. Can you imagine if you had lied to spare her feelings and actually entered a forced relationship with her? What a nightmare. I assure you, it would have been worse than any petty little lies she concocts in the short term, no matter how hurtful they may be.
Instead of acting like a mature adult, she has proven herself to be a child. Adults can often stay friends even after romantic feelings are not returned or end; children take their ball and go home. Until she grows up, there is really nothing more to be done to salvage the friendship. She made her choice to end it; actions speak louder than words. I recommend you go on with your life as if she and her lies do not exist. If you show that her words are having an effect, then she will just try even harder to hurt you.
However, there is no reason why you should put up with harassment, either. If her lies do not stop, or if others start harassing you because of them, I strongly recommend you go to your parents and have them set up a meeting with the schools principal. Even though you are not gay, you have an equal right to be protected from anti-gay harassment. It is a serious violation of most school’s behaviour standards and should be addressed as such.
Anti-gay bullying is a big problem in many schools here in North America. Even when non-gay students are targeted, the emotional impact can be just as devastating. Sadly, this is a fact that many parents and educators do not acknowledge. Recently several junior school students, some as young as 11 years old*, have committed suicide due to anti-gay bullying endured at school. Being bullied at school for any reason is not something you should tolerate. It is the schools responsibility to ensure that every student can attend class in a safe and tolerant environment.
I recommend you visit this site for help and support resources: http://www.bullying.co.uk/
Again, you did the right thing by being honest about your feelings. Never doubt that.
I hope this helps.
* Eric Mohat, Lee Simpson, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, and Jaheem Herrera to name a few.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): Yes, I agree with lauren. Tell everyone that she said she loved you, and that you turned her down, and that now she is being spiteful. Its not something you should do normally, but she didn't care a thing about you when she said you were gay...so..
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 April 2009):
She was hurt and obviously wants to hurt you.
She obviously needed a lot of courage to ask you out and had probably liked you for ages.
Leave her to calm down for a while and ignore her.
In the mean time go and ask out a girl you do like.
Rumours about sexuality are just stupid and most people will have a brain and see that she's just made it up. She is the one who will look stupid, not you.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Lauren_agony_aunt +, writes (23 April 2009):
i think you should tell everyone what really happened, i no it may embarrass her but she clearly didnt think of that for you when she told everyone you was gay. She will then realise its not nice to lie about people and you will stick up for your self.
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