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*ngel-lee
writes: Hello, I split up with my boyfriend of five years, a year ago and i am still deeply in love with him. He is with someone else now and has moved in with her and I am with someone else too who I care for very much but I'm not sure I am in love with him. He wants to move in with me and I do want to move in with him but I still love my ex boyfriend. I was outraged to here that after five years of being with him, he moved in with someone after just 4 months of knowing her (and I mean, bought a place with her, which is a big step) Basically what I'm trying to find out is, do you think there is ever a chance of us getting back together? The thing is, we split up a few times before and he always came back to me, saying he loved me and that we should make a new start. I know he has moved in with someone but the whole time we were together and every time we have been apart (even now) I have this feeling, like were meant to be together, but its not just a feeling you get when its puppy love, it's more than that. It's almost like we are destined to be. I know that sounds wierd but how can I still think of him the way I do after a year of being apart and how can the feeling still be so strong? Do you think he thinks of me? I just need to know this. It's been aggravating me for a long time because I'm trying to move on with my life with someone new but something is holding me back. It's just like a feeling being pulled towards someone, even though we're no longer together. This feeling is so strong, it's almost like something is telling me to put my relationship with Jon on hold because something is going to happen with my ex. It's weird, every time I try to go in one direction, this feeling makes me go in the other direction. Please help.
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (15 April 2005):
 Stop! Your ex is your ex for a reason. If you try to live in the past for whatever reason it will all end in tears! You have both moved on. The reason you are not so sure of your feelings for your new man is because you are constantly sitting there thinking about the what ifs! There are 4 people involved in this and I think everyone of you could get hurt. You know that your ex is living with someone else, half of what you are feeling is jealousy.. almost of a how dare he move in with her when thats all I wanted to do!.. its been a year and you have both had time to reflect, okay it does sound as though he rushed things with this new girl, but thats his choice, he has given you no indidcation that he even remotely wants to try with you again. You need to move on, concentrate on your new man, you are spoiling and not giving him a chance purely because you think that your ex wants you. Accept you that you have both moved on and concentrate on moving forward. You need to stop dwelling on what could have or might have happend with you ex and carry on. The more you sit there and torment yourself the harder it will be. You guys are over you tried and it didnt work. Take care of the man you have got, devote more time on the two of you and that will take the focus off. Enjoy your new man and have a happy life! The only person holding you back is you, and the torment you are giving yourself. Relax a little and stop thinking of the past. You risk spoiling what you have now got with your new man if you carry on dwelling. Your ex has moved on.. so should you... you deserve to give your new man a shot and make each other happy.Take care
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