| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: hey i have a boyfriend my parents dont like him because i made a big mistake by leaving to Mexico w/him but now we want to do things right and he's tried to talk to my dad but he dosen't want to listen he said that he dosen't want me w/him what should i do we love each other Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (13 June 2006):
 I was going to add my comments in detail, but Irish has already done an excellent job with her advice.
Summarising: you have to acknowledge, openly and in person, that you were wrong, and you made a poor choice. You have to apologise to your folks and ask what you can do to make it up to them. Don't expect miracles, here! This is a big, long-term project.
You need to talk to your parents without your boyfriend and ask what it is, specifically, that they don't like, then listen objectively to their answer. Ask yourself: could they be right?
Then, if you still think you want to be with this guy, he needs to get to know your parents before you do any further dating.
Accept that you've stuffed yourself pretty well up with this Mexico thing, and the chances of your parents coming around to your way of thinking are very small, unless you take responsibility for what you've done so far, and prove to them that you can change.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006): Firstly, you don't say how old you are. Is it safe to assume you are not an adult (18). I will make that assumption so if you ran away to Mexico without your parent's permission, then you are a teenager and in their care. If so, you and your bf did a very reckless thing and I need to tell you something very seriously. People like your bf, who want you to go against your better judgement and your Mom and Dad's rules, does not have your best interests at heart. Mom and Dad know full well, this fellow is not the type of guy they want their daughter to be with. Your unthinking behaviours cost your parents a lot of pain and grief and his behaviour gave your parents the clear message, he lacks a good, mature character. Your parents no longer trust you and him and these are the consequences. So what can be done? Well, for starters, you and he need to own up to your mistake and and apologize. If you haven't already. Begin with a very humble "I am sorry," and admit your error. Tell Mom and Dad you want to improve your relationship and ask how they can accept your bf? Then close your mouth and listen very, very carefully to their answer. Solutions will be best worked out when you stop talking or thinking about what you are going to say next, and instead listen to them , with a mature, respectful mind and very open ears. It's time to prove to Mom and Dad, you can be trusted by making good, mature choices and trying to earn their trust back again. This is a long process...it will take time. So hunker down and work hard at it. And maybe over time, they may agree to allowing you to see your bf. But he has to work hard at gaining their trust, as well. It won't be an overnight deal....get ready for the long haul.
...............................
|
