A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem. My ex and I just got back together, out of nowhere. He broke up with me in an awful way, he cut me off with no words, nothing, and went to another girl. We finally talked and he said some lame excuses for why he ended it. Well he begged for me back. Now my issue is.. I care about him...but the feelings of butterflies and what not are gone, and we havent even been togeyher long, at all. I feel the urge to still talk to other men, as if im single. And I dont think it would hurt me to cheat on him. He buried me in the ground with how he treated me. He lied, and emotionally, probably physically cheated. What do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2013): "Out of nowhere?" Um, no. You DECIDED to be back in a relationship with him. Even if he wormed his way back into the center of your life again and you ALLOWED it, that was you deciding to be with him again. He had no right to just break up wtih you like that. He has no right to treat you like shit. And you have EVERY right to say, "I am not attracted to you, I don't care for how you treat me and it's OVER. Period." Then, stop ALL contact with him and delete all connections (de-friend and block him on facebook and all medias, block his number if your cell phone allows, stop going to places you know he hangs out with and stop hanging out with people he hangs out with. If you work with him, chance jobs asap, change apartments if you live in the same building etc.)If he tries to make any communication with you (say he comes into your work) just talk about work. if he brings up anything else, tell him you won't be discussing it. it sounds like a lot of work and a lot of worry, but I learned the hard way to er on the side of caution.good luck to you!
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (16 November 2013):
 if the feelings are gone and you don't see yourself even wanting to be with this guy, which it sounds legit if you ask me, then why waste your time? your feelings are mostly gone and the spark is gone and you still desire being with other men. so just move on and let him lay in the bed he made. this was his fault for doing you the way he did in the first place. let him live with his decisions.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 November 2013):
 The trust is gone. How could this ever possibly work unless you go through some intensive couples counseling?
Don't cheat, that's just piling insult upon injury and will not fix anything.
I think the relationship is pretty well dead. Maybe you took him back so that you could even the score?
You're in your early to mid-20s. Any reason you want to spend the rest of your life with a guy who treated you so badly? With a guy you can't trust and actually want to hurt by cheating on him? Do you like misery that much?
Break up with him, you aren't back together for the right reasons. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2013): I see the only problem is that you are back together again. You are not into him anymore because of the way he treated you, why you have him back?!!!
Cheating is never right. Cheating is lying, thats what's wrong with it. And lying is as we all know is wrong.
You are entitled to feel what you feel toward him, but don't reduce yourself to lying and excepting the situation.
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