A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I met a guy and had a friendly relationship for about 1 year. He however then started drawing back and after a few months trying to get in touch with him, i told him i needed closure on the relationship. Was i right to do this? Can we get past this? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (4 April 2012):
Attempting to get closure from another person is virtually impossible. You have to give yourself closure. This happens from thinking about the situation from a different perspective, logically understanding why things didn't work out, learning to accept it, and making the conscious decision to put the relationship past you and move forward. Usually, when people seek "closure" from the other party, they are actually (consciously or subconsciously) merely trying to re-establish contact with the other person. And really, are knowing his reasons really going to help you feel better? Probably not. I recently read a quote, something along the lines of: "People who want to be in your life will always find a way." This guy does not want to stay in your life, so knowing that, who really cares why he backed off? The fact of the matter is that he backed off, so accept it and move on with your life.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 April 2012):
Closure for anything is a myth. He might be able to shed some light on why he pulled away, why he was a coward and didn't just end it. He may not. Usually guy like that don't communicate well.
Can you get past it? Do you really want to? He just drop all contact and then wants to pick off where you left it, you think that is even possible?
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