A
female
age
41-50,
*ittleMissMellie
writes:So the past month I have seen this guy at the bar I go to, to start with it was just a casual look at me but in the last two weeks he stares at me and when he sees me holds my gaze and i thought he was interested. Last night when no one was watching he turned around and smiled and mouthed 'hello' to me. I smiled back and felt awesome. This is what i had been waiting for. I really wanted to talk to him. I went to the bar and just tried a bit of chit chat which seemed to work and then a few hours later we were all outside in a group and he was talking to me a little bit in a group situation which was nice. Then, i think i messed up. It's stupid but he had an undone shoe lace and i went to do it up (ridiculous considering how i old i am) and he ran away from me and was kind of laughing and i thought was just flirting but I think i might have scared him off. I went back to the girls i was standing with and one of them said he was just shy so don't worry about it. I guess I am a bit outgoing and friendly and thought nothing of it. Then he ended up leaving a few minutes later and I just feel awful. What did i do? things were going so well and now i feel like i've blown it. It's taken me weeks to get him to talk to me and last night was the first decent smile i got. Please help if i did scare him off how do i undo that?
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flirt, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2011): Thanks for the follow up...happy to hear it wasn't as bad as you thought. I'm shy and I do stupid, awkward sh*t all the time when I get nervous...Hopefully, this is something you can look back and laugh at now.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, LittleMissMellie +, writes (8 December 2011):
LittleMissMellie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmishmash you were right..! THANKS
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 November 2011):
 If that scared him off I hope he trips in his shoe laces! Though... I have to say it's sounds a little odd to do for a grown up man lol
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female
reader, LittleMissMellie +, writes (26 November 2011):
LittleMissMellie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah yeah, he knew. the girl next to me and I pointed it out. To be honest, I feel when i'm around him like an idiot. Perhaps he isn't the one that's shy, maybe it's me. I just feel awkward now. Usually i can chat to guys and flirt a little, but I think i got nervous because he is so shy and i didn't know how to react. So i ended up looking stupid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2011): I don't think you blew it. Yeah it was an awkward move trying to tie his shoe for him, but so is running away and laughing...but I think you might be giving yourself too much credit in this situation. If he's had his eye on you for a while and he finally gets to speak to you, he was probably just as nervous and on edge. He could have been laughing out of nervousness, he wasn't necessarily laughing at you. He might have left because he felt like he'd just made a fool of himself...you didn't necessarily "scare him off". All I'm saying is there is no reason to feel like his behavior was all about you. Meeting new people is always awkward. Meeting new people you are especially attracted to can be an especially anxious experience for shy people. He might very well be feeling the same way you do now about it. If you see him again, smile, be friendly and if he does talk to you, bring it up in a joke. If you don't take it so seriously, he won't either. This is no biggie...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2011): Did you go over to him and tie his shoelace without saying anything, or did you say something to him first ?. If you didn't say anything, he might have been shocked.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2011): Maybe he thought it was weird, sorry to say I though that when I read it. I have many outgoing friends and I have never seen a girl or anyone just go and do up someone's shoelace. I have heard someone say "hey your shoelace is undone" but never actually gone to do it up. I don't know if you've blown it, but in future I wouldn't do that to anyone else if I were you. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2011): He sounds like a twit. I wouldn't do any more, if he is interest in you, let him make the move. He WILL make a move if he is interested, even really shy guys do..especially since the ice has already been broken. But to run away, at the time of an opportunity to talk to you more... or get to know you more... sounds childish or not interested.
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