A
female
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*mzie
writes:thers this blokes whos 25 and im 18. he says that he likes me and wants to get to know me. he always takes me out and this has been going on for just over 6 weeks now. but hes still not mentioned a relationship! also friday just gone he let me down as we were ment to be going out that night but rang and cancelled at the last min because his car was making weird noises (which i know could be true coz i have heard it b4) but then he was like u wana come over and watch a dvd instead but he sounded like he didnt want me to, so i just said dont worry about it. then yesterday (sat) he rang me and asked if i wanted to go out on sunday night and i said yeah but i think that he might think hes got me round his little finger and so might be taking me 4 granted coz i can see change in him towards me, like not trying as hard. so i text him about 20mins later saying 'sorry just remembered, im busy tomorrow washing my hair' and he just repiled with 'safe' and i havnt heard from him since. tht nite much later on i tried ringing him 2 see if i have left my watch at his but he didnt answer or text me. so now im thinking iv lost him. and now i dont know what to do coz we were ment to be going to this massive fireworks display next sunday but i feel like iv ruined it! i do want to talk 2 him again but i dont want to look like im running back! what should i do? just leave it? xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): Six weeks really is not that long - a bit soon, in fact, to be discussing whether or not you are an item. At this point you are still getting to know one another and should be just enjoying each other's company.
I don't know what you mean by saying he's not trying too hard. Yes, he cancelled your date on Friday night because his car was acting up - but he asked if you'd like to go to his place. He wouldn't have asked you if he didn't want to see you! You might think more about listening to what is ACTUALLY SAID as opposed to trying to ferret out hidden meanings! He could have been concerned over his car, for instance, and no need for you to take it personally!
Then he called you on Saturday to see if you'd like to get together Sunday, and you basically fluffed him off by saying you'd be washing your hair - as if you couldn't wash it Saturday evening or Sunday morning! You may well have made him think you're not interested.
Stina and the guy "anonymous" who responded to your message gave you good advice.....give him another call and leave a message if he's not home and let him know you really would like to get together, maybe coffee or lunch, whatever.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Terrie-Anne +, writes (31 October 2006):
It's his loss if he he does not want to know you, you have tried to be a girl who act's cool but suttle. you've got so much to give, lose him therie are others out there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): do you care more about this relationship blossoming or having pretend power struggles as you want to be in control. stop assuming everything is a negative. the only time i do that is when i'm depressed. when i'm feeling happy i dont expect things to go bad. if i was him i would think you are not interested, drop the pride and how you will appear to oth.ers and go for the guy you want. you need to deal with your insecure nature and get some confidence, sounds like you have had controlling/ abusing relationships in the past and have issues with trust. good luck but get stronger mentally by trusting people. good experiences will lead you to expect good. we are the sum of our experiences
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (30 October 2006):
 Hi Emzie,
Maybe you're just worrying too much. Have you tried calling him back since that one time late at night? Maybe he didn't answer your call or text you because he was busy. Maybe his feelings were hurt and instead of admitting that he just ignored your call. It could be other reasons, too, but those were the first things I thought of.
If you two have been getting along pretty well, then I would try calling him back. Maybe you could see if he wants to get together before going on next Sunday, too.
I also have a couple of other suggestions. Before you text him about not wanting to go out again like that - being sarcastic and whatnot - you should probably call him up and tell him that you just feel like staying in, or something like that. Him telling you his car was making noises didn't sound like he was trying to be nasty to you - he even invited you over. (Maybe he just didn't sound enthusiastic because he was hoping to go out instead of stay in.) And the next time you think he doesn't want to hang out and is still asking you to come over, then just ask him what he really wants to do. If you think you might want to have a relationship with this guy, then you need to keep communication open with one another. Without that, there are bound to be little problems like this all the time, don't you think.
I'm sure things will work out - just be more open and don't be so quick to judge, okay?
Take care.
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