A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think one of my female students has a crush on me, I am a lesbian and she may have heard that somewhere I’m not sure. I need to tell her that I don’t have feelings for her. I’m not sure whether I should of if I should just wait for it to pass.She is always asking for help, and when I go over to her she sits really close to me and leans her leg onto mine. She always stays behind after class to ask for help with her homework, even though every homework I give her she passes them with flying colours. I think it is affecting her tests as well; she has always been just below average. Once when I sent her out the class to do the test, because she was absent when the rest of the class did the test, she did amazingly. I think she may be a lesbian or bisexual because she always wears this rainbow bracelet and I once saw her holding a girls hand when she was walking home. I just really don’t want to hurt her feelings.
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female
reader, Sharknado  +, writes (8 May 2016):
Hi, I know this is over 6 years old, but I want to put in something.
I'm 18 now, and I've had crushes on a lot of my teachers (females) and I know from reading what you said that she definitely does. Whether she's lesbian or bisexual, she obviously is into girls and into you.
This is for all the teachers that come across my comment. If a student has a crush on you and tries to make a move, deny it. Don't lead them on. Keep things professional and be the one to tell them upfront that you are not into dating students. I've had crushes on my teachers but I never did anything about it because I knew it wasn't right and because I didn't want to put their careers in jeopardy. Just don't do it.
A
female
reader, Sharknado +, writes (8 May 2016):
Hi, I know this is over 6 years old, but I want to put in something.I'm 18 now, and I've had crushes on a lot of my teachers (females) and I know from reading what you said that she definitely does. Whether she's lesbian or bisexual, she obviously is into girls and into you. This is for all the teachers that come across my comment. If a student has a crush on you and tries to make a move, deny it. Don't lead them on. Keep things professional and be the one to tell them upfront that you are not into dating students. I've had crushes on my teachers but I never did anything about it because I knew it wasn't right and because I didn't want to put their careers in jeopardy. Just don't do it.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (6 November 2010):
 She hasn't openly said anything therefore, do the same. She may have a crush on you but as long as nothing is said or done, it's quite harmless. Just take a few precautions. When she stays after class, leave the classroom door open (always). If she writes you a love note, file it away and make sure it's documented that she has done so. Trust me, it's likely that this crush will pass. So, you don't need to reject her openly as she hasn't made a move. Doing so can simply lead to her having feelings of anger, embarassment, and rejection. There's no concrete proof that she's crushing and she may not be a lesbian (I hold my friends's hands all the time and we're all straight). So, let it go. She'll get over it. If she ever tells you she likes you, just tell her that you are a teacher and she is your student. Firmly remind her that you both need to follow a proffesional code but also, take care not to crush the kid. Tell her that she'll find someone quite special one day, but that person cannot be you. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 November 2010):
 There is nothing you have to say because teachers are not supposed to have feelings for students. If you bring up the relationship subject with her, it only gives her more reason to stay after class with you. It would be talking for the sake of getting close to you. A professional teacher keeps business and private life separate. So the best thing is to just pretend nothing is going on. Arrange so that the chairs would be wide apart and discourage her from touching you. Teachers are only supposed to talk about academics. If she is sad then a counsellor is who she should talk to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): You have to discuss the situation with the principal or some of your colleagues, they've no doubt experienced this before and will have the best way to move forward.
It is important you don't do anything at this stage, nothing. You cannot lead her on, nor can reject her. You can't let anything happen. If you think her grades are bad now being infatuated with you then just imagine what they'd be like if you openly rejected her.
You're a teacher, her grades and the success of her education are paramount. If you have to take feeling uncomfortable for a little while longer while you figure out the best way to help her then that's what you must do.
Go consult with your colleagues on the matter and see what the best way to handle this is. Whatever you do, don't feel bad this probably wasn't the first and it definitely won't be the last. It's part of the job, one I myself will be doing very soon, hopefully.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 November 2010):
 Hi well if you are her teacher i am guessing that she is a teenager? I might be wrong but if she is then i think it is best in your part to ignore her closeness to you, if she leans against you pull away and if she needs help then give it to her after all you are her teacher. Teenage girls hold hands all the time it doesnt mean that they are atracted to girls however you might be right. If she is a teenager then she is probably just going through a phase were she is wanting to find herself and we all go through phases of growing up were we want to experement to see if we are gay or straight. Just try and ignore it unless she tells you she has feelings for her then let her down gently and tell her you are her teacher and that you need to have a strict professional relationship with her due to your career.
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