A
female
age
30-35,
*lixirpink
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a few months. Our relationship has been very hectic, there was this period where I had terrible rashes and could not leave the house. He started to act distant towards me and my friend told me he was flirting with other girls. He later confirmed with me that a girl had asked him to dump me for her. However he kept all this a secret from me until two months later. He also gave me an ultimatum when I was having my mid term papers, he told me I had to let go of my best friend, otherwise he would dump me. I felt very lost and sad during this period and confided in my close guy friend. My close guy friend and I dated for a while during the period my boyfriend dumped me. My boyfriend and I soon had gotten back together and he told me I was never to speak to my guy friend again. The problem is, that guy friend is my classmate .. I'm worried my boyfriend will start a scene. My boyfriend is a very loving person. However, he has stopped me from talking to any of my guy friends. He did some things and now my best friend and I aren't on talking terms anymore. I really don't know what to do. One thing about my boyfriend is that he isn't into physical intimacy. He moans and groans whenever I ask him to pleasure me and he doesn't want me to pleasure him at all. I feel Hurt and rejected. What should I do?
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female
reader, Chickie  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 I was in the same situation as you about 2 months ago. I dated my boyfriend for 7 months though. He was very controlling and I lost my best friend 5 times just to make him happy. I put his happiness before mine and he controlled who I did and didn't talk to. I gave up all, my friends just for him and he wasn't worth it. He was always rude and mean to me and yelled at me and called me rude names. If a man truly loves you or is even into you, then he will show you. Be there for you and prove to you that he is the best. If he treats you like crap then he isn't the man for you. I read the books, Act like a Lady, Think like a Man and Straight talk, No Chaser by Steave Harvey. They really made me realize that this BOY, wasn't the guy I was looking for and I deserved better and to be happy. Two months later and I found a new MAN, who really makes me smile and happy :) He shows me everyday that he is really into me and he I believe, is the man for me. So my advice, dump him and find someone who makes you happy. You'll feel better and fits your needs.
A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (7 January 2012):
 This is not a healthy relationship. You can do better, he's not right for you. You can find someone who will let you have space to breathe, friends, and someone who enjoys physical intimacy with you.
I hate to say this, but you really need to find a new boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (7 January 2012):
 Love isn't controlling who somebody has as friends, thats not very loving at all. love doesnt issue ultimatums!
I think you are suffering from Rose Tinted Glasses syndrome. They are tinted so bad you can't even tell what "things" he did to cause your friend not to talk to you.
The cure for this syndrome is a nice healthy dose of reality! Take those glasses off and take a good hard look at the situation.
Its not good for you!
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