A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question!Do you think that if a man loves a woman (and wants to be with that woman) that he should do whatever he needs to do to be with her Even if he has a lot like three business and lots of properties! i mean you only have one life to live right so shouldn't you live it to the fullest! i think love means sacrifice am i right? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): people only sacrifice something if there is another something worthy. and i think your MM does not think you are worthy.
"sacrifice" his marriage/ his financial stability/ his kids/ his friends/his other relations - not in a million years or even in the next 4 to come.
what is a girl to do?
A
female
reader, pebble  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 "he would do anything for me! its just he hasn't done that yet!"There are so many things wrong with thoses sentences. He might tell you he'll do anything for you but he hasn't has he? He hasn't left his wife, he hasn't made you the most important person in his life. He's hidden you away and made you his dirty little secret. Sometimes you have to sacrifice things for love but not everyone is willing to do that. Life is not a fairy tale where love conquers all. It's time to wake up. This man probably will not leave his wife for you. I bet he promises you the world but never follows through with any of it. It's never as simple as 'if you love someone you'll do anything to be with them.' If he wanted to leave his wife he would have done it by now. Instead he has carried on degrading you by keeping you his bit on the side.He probably returns home to his wife, tells her he loves her and pretends you don't even exist. Is that love?He's probably told you they barely talk, that they haven't slept together in months/years and that he's only there for the kids or because they have too many commitments as a couple. Of course, leaving a partner is difficult, no one said it wasn't, however if he loved you as much as he says he does, he'd do it wouldn't he?I think it's up to you to begin to cease contact with this man. No one deserves to be the bit on the side.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): You are just the bit of free sex on the side. Do you really think that he will give up all he has got for you??? Wake up and smell the roses girl, his first priority will be his wife and kids.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): sorry to tell you this, but you sound so immature, and so needy,clingy and at a point of desperation? how old are you again. Please take time to really look at yourself and see what is lacking, i think it is self esteem. It is not too late to grow up and learn to accept adult life situations. Just talk to the women who have been burnt, it is not a pretty picture.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): you persistently ask about love meaning sacrificing everything for you.sacrifice what ? all of his possessions that both him and his wife worked all these years for. Does he sacifice all this for you? NO. He does not want to. He has told you this. You just choose to close your ears to what you have been hearing for 4 years.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): He is married, slow down, think about it... back off and if he really wants you something will change. If not, let him save his marriage!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): your story is so familiar and i will give you the advice i gave you previously.he does not leave his wife because he does not want to. he has the loving stability of his wife and kids, and the f*cking sex of his mistress, YOU. Get up and smell the coffee, after 4 years and you are wondering when he will leave her. Baby, he is never leaving his wife. You need to accept it as you need to accept that you are only his F*CK Buddy, good for one thing only. He know you, he can see the desperation creeping into you, you better watch yourself, soon you will be turning into the boring wife kind and then it's by by to you, and the start with a new mistress. He doesn't want to hurt his wife, that part is so true. What he is not telling you is that he is happy with his wife, how else can he justify you, his bit on the side. I am sure he has also told you, she doesn't understand him, he feels so alive with you, you are the best sex he has ever had, and that he is NOT sleeping with his wife and so forth. Baby, this is a load of crap, you know it, he knows it and you are just too blind, insecure to read the real situation.Four years from now you will be also questioning when is he going to leave his wife. The answer is NEVER.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut beside the fact that he is marrried! dont you think that that if you love someone you will do what it takes to be with that person honestly!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell hes marrried and i don't bring it up but all he keeps saying is that he wants to be with me and i am worth everything to him ! i just don't get it though becuase i love him and he loves me and even though he owns that stuff why can't he just be with me if he wants to! he is a really good person and he does keep telling me that we will be together i just don't see what is gonna help later on because he will still have those businesses and property so what is gonna make him do it then! and its not like he lies to me because he does tell me that he don't want to hurt her and that it is hard to just walk away from that stuff! so i do understand where he is coming from! i promice i just think that you only have one life to live! he can't take that stuff with him when he goes and i know you guys are prolly thinking i am greddy but i am not i have a big heart and im very caring i just love him so much and i know he loves me ! he would do anything for me! its just he hasn't done that yet! and if it helps we have been seeing each other 4 a year! he spends more time with me than her i just don't get it
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female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (16 April 2009):
 I would say love means loyalty, compromise and team work and having somebody to share your life, values and goals with.
I am not sure where you are coming from. Does your girlfriend think you are a workaholic and have no time together? In a loving relationship we all need a work-life balance and for the guy to have the time and energy to do everyday tasks and chores at home. Am I along the right lines that she thinks that you are super-successful and keen in work but not at home because you don't have the time/energy/motivation?
With only a few details to go on, I can only guess. For example there are a lot of guys who finish work at gone 6pm and go home to dinner cooked, it's not them getting kids ready for bed....
Is it that with these other properties that DIY and tasks are getting done there, but not where you live and things are building up?
I am not sure if it's this or something similar, or she's worried you are heading in that direction. OR that somehow between all this your priorities are so many and you are so busy you don't have much time at home together as in quality time?
So in those terms sacrifice and spending time together as a team is vital.
I think we need more details to go off.
Fiona
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (16 April 2009):
 love means many things to many people - for some it means sacrafice.I like to think it more of a compromise than a sacrafice though.Love means you would do almost anything for that person, but recipricated love should mean you shouldnt HAVE to.xx
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