A
female
age
26-29,
*ail98
writes:I want experience in the world. I'm just turned 18 and have been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend, the first boyfriend I ever had. He's had a couple of relationships before me and is now wanting to settle down and I don't know what to do. I'd love to get a flat with him and settle down because I love him and love spending time with him but I'm afraid I'm too young and I haven't experienced anything else before I flood myself with responsibility. Sex is also an issue- I've never liked it with him and I've told him, but I don't know whether it's us or just me because I've never tried it with anyone else. I want to experience more in life, not in sex but in everything and I feel too committed to him to be able to do that. I don't want to break up or take a break because I know how much it will hurt him and I genuinely love him- I don't want to ruin a good thing. But I'm seeing 30 year old women talk about their relationships and settling down in a similar way to us and I don't want to waste my life away not taking risks or being reckless once or twice. Basically, I think I've found the soul mate everyone dreams about but he has come too early, can you please give me any advice possible?
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female
reader, ArtisticBiscuit +, writes (28 May 2016):
 It's exciting to want to settle down and be secure with each other. You have to talk to your boyfriend about it. It's not like you don't want to settle down, just not right now. Maybe go on holiday together and create memories. If you can plan a trip together you can plan future. I met my boyfriend at 16 and still together 6 years later. And still feel too financially unstable to own a place of my own. It's ok to own up you're not ready for settling down. You have to convince him that it's not a no...a no to settling down.. just not right now. As for the sex thing... first time is not as good as when you've tried it a few times. Keep experimenting with different positions etc... it will become better. Explore each other and get to know what the other wants. It's also sweet that he cares for you so much that he picks you to settle with. Tell him you don't want to rush the relationship as you're young. Ask him how he feels taking on responsibility of paying bills and cleaning a flat etc... he may just want to get own place to have more alone time. Does your boyfriend know the ins and outs of owning own place?It's not something you go into lightly. Make him aware of this.Hope I help- ArtisticBiscuit
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2016): Some childhood sweethearts do stay together but its rare. I would just go with the flow and see where this leads but at your age maybe best hold off on the settling down,if it is the person you will spend your life with then what's the rush? I thought my first boyf was the one for me also that was several years and about 7 boyfs ago lol I had no idea how sex, just having fun and partnership can be so different with different people until I dated more. I am now crystal clear what I like and don't like so feel im in a much better position to say my current boyf is the one I want to settle down with, than I was as a teenager who only dated one boy. I have no urge to experience new people dating as I did it already.
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