A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 29 year old woman I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years we have two kids. Well I have always had this attraction to other women an as hard as I try to make myself feel happy with my boyfriend I am not. I don't want to leave because he has no one but me and the kids I do love him I just don't think I am in love with him. At work there is this girl who I really like an we play around and flirt hold hands call each other little pet names I feel like I'm more in to her then I have ever been with my boyfriend. My sister can feel that I'm not happy and probably him also because every time I see her she tells me how I deserve to be happy an so does my man of 10 years but it's a lot easier to say then it is to do. I also told my sister last night about how I like women she still told me I deserve to be happy. Part of me wants to leave part of me wants to stay. I just want advice on what I should do...can anyone help me?
View related questions:
at work, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (19 August 2015):
 Hi,you must simply ask yourself,If i remain with my husband for the long term, will i be truly happy and will my feelings possibly change/revert back to what i once felt?Do i see myself with this female friend of mine and for the long term and if so, will/does she feel the same about me?Once you've answered these questions and more you most obviously have inside your head, then base your final decision around that.Whichever way you go, always place your children and yourself, first and foremost.All the best and let us know what happens. :-)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2015): There is no reason why, if you split up, you can't still be good friends and joint parents to your children. You cannot live a lie, if you want to be with a woman then you're not going to be happy staying with your man. You two need a good talk. You both need to admit that this relationship has been running it's course, and that's no one's fault. There will be no need to point the finger of blame and fall out over it but you both need to communicate to start moving on.Stop flirting with that woman until your relationship is sorted out, and don't go rushing into anything new and, this goes for both you and your partner, should you both start dating again your children should not meet anyone until you've been together a while. Long enough to know the relationship is serious.It may be hard for your children to accept, but children cope and splitting up and both of you being happy is better than staying together in a miserable household. My childhood best friend was 12 when her mum left her dad, and was 14 when her mum introduced her to her girlfriend. She struggled to take it in, and when eventually they moved in together she went to live with her grand parents for a couple of months as she found it hard to accept. Her other sister took it much easier, but I think the sooner you explain to your children that mummy likes the company of ladies over that of men then the easier it will be for them to understand. My friend was upset because her mum never explained and just one day announced she had a girlfriend - she didn't mean to cause any upset, rather she wanted to cause as little hurt as possible! You need to listen to your sister, you both deserve happiness and it is not fair on your partner to be loyal and faithful to you whilst you are wishing you were with a woman; it's not fair on you to be stuck living a life that isn't true to yourself. Be brave, and have the conversation with your partner. You will still be able to be wonderful parents to your children, and there is no reason you still couldn't enjoy shared days out, both attend school events etc... and be there for your children. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2015): You need to tell him that it's just not working and leave. I know it will be a drawn out process because you have kids, but you aren't being fair to either of you - especially since you're already emotionally cheating on him by flirting with the lady you're iterested in. You both need people who love you for who you are, you don't any more and aren't being upfront about your actions with this woman, so you're not being considerate of your children's father.
Please, don't put this off any longer; it's not just about *you* deserving happiness.
...............................
|
