A
female
age
30-35,
*leh222
writes:i'm 14... i have these really strong feelings for a 21 year old. he says the sweetest things to me and makes me feel so good. i don't know what to do about this. but i'm not aloud to see him because i got in trouble with the police for being with him in his car at night (we were just hanging out). but i really think i'm falling in love. but also i have a boyfriend that's my age and i like him. but not even close to how much i like the 21 year old. i have no idea what to do and it stresses me out so much. help?! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): You are obviously very sensible for your age, Well done, you have made the right choice, there is no way that guy had good intentions at heart x
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): Hi Hunny,
Im glad you have thought about this and have come to a decition that you feel comfortable with take care of you with love mandy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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female
reader, bleh222 +, writes (19 December 2007):
bleh222 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks so much!
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female
reader, louloulou1991  +, writes (18 December 2007):
 well you need to find out more about each of them i feel, and then decide what one you really truely love altho you must be certian that the 21 yo is not just playing mind tricks on you dont worry hun i have the same problem:(
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female
reader, bleh222 +, writes (18 December 2007):
bleh222 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys so much.. i'm trying to not talk to the 21 year old anymore and get over him. i realized i can't be with a 21 year old so why even bother.. i'm too young for this. but anyways thanks..it means alot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007): an older man is always exciting but not always the best relationship to put yourself in, sorry but i'd stick to the boy your same age, it always works out better in the end
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): ok firstly this 21 year old shouldnt be talking to you the way it seems he is i know you dont want to hear it and probaly get bored of people beingin it up but you are only 14 and he is 21 and altho age dosent always matter it dose when it comes down to legiality.and the reason the police come down on it was because of the age a young man like that shouldnt be encourageing a girl of your age i dont think at 14 you can realy comprehend what it is like to be involved in a realtionship with that age factor. the fact he has a car and probaly works is apealing i know but you have to ask yourself are you ready to have a relationship with him and you have to realise what a man of that age would expect from a relationship the two relationships with your current boyfreind and the prospective one with this man will be totaly diffrent and let me ask you do you know it is love or a crush or infatuation? sometimes it is easy to get swept up with the fantacy or idea of this wounderfull relationhip but fantacy isnt always reality.i urge you to think carefully and talk to your parents if possible or school councellor or someone you trust i would advice you spend time with your freinds and current boyfreind all to often we worry about growing up and being seen as being an adult that we forget to have fun and enjoy are teenage years you still have a way to go yet before you have to start worrieing about relationships and lifes stresses your only young once sit back and enjoy it
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): Hi Love,
First at 21 he will no all the right things to say to make your heart a flutter, Be carefull I think at 14 you should maybe stick with your b/f thats closer to your age.
You just dont no hunny what this fella wants and sex springs to mind, At 14 you dont want to end up pregnant and also you dont no who he has been with before there is alot to think about..Im not saying age matters but sometimes the right words are said to get you into bed, Then you may never see him again, Just be very carefull hunny with all the s.t.ds around its not worth it...If he really does like you he will wait TAKE CARE LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): Firstly, I would say stick to the boyfriend thats your age. His intentions are likely to be more genuine.
I would like to open your mind to the word 'infactuation', many teenage girls mistake these strong feelings for love. Alot of people will associate that word with desparation and neediness - its not, in this context it is simply strong feelings that you have that make you particuarly fond of this person.
Your infactuation is because a 21 years old, that has a car, is paying you some attention on and it makes you feel good. Let me just ask, what interest do you think a 21 year old adult has with a 14 year old school girl? I can assure you, regardless of what he tells you, it is about sex.
You see after a certain age, once you have had intimate experiences, they do become somewhat necessary within further relationships, especially for men.
The best and safest thing you could do is leave this be. Dont be ignorant if you see him in the street, but certainly do not lead him to think he may eventally get something out of you if he sticks around.
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