A
female
age
36-40,
*nnonomus
writes:I have been with my partner for 7 years, I love him but for at least 6 of those years I have had really strong feelings for his best mate, I've tried to get over these feelings as I never thought I had a chance with my partner's mate, but I have found out that the last 4 years my partner's mate has felt the same way about me. I am so confused, we both have partners but have a real strong conection together. Should I try and get over our feelings for each other or do I act on it???? HELP Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Griffo +, writes (23 January 2009):
 I agree with the annonomus poster below.
But also know you will completley distroy their mateship forever. I promise you they will never be able to be be mates again, you will likley see a physical fight and one or both will be seriously hurt - all your friends will likley split. It will get real bad, you will be the talk of the town and it wont look good.
I know a girl who did the same thing and she left town because she was marked a cruel woman who distroys mateship (very unasutralian!) friends will eventually take sides you will look really bad and all you and this other guy will have are each other. Not only that when your actually with the other guy things might not be so good.
If your partner breaks it off with you, and if he ever catches you with his friend he will be pissed!!! Because he will think that you casued him to break it with you. there will be trouble!!!
If you break it off he will likley be very hurt and still love you always. As soon as he finds out that your with his mate they will fight and one or both will seriusly be hurt and you will see what you caused... SERIOUSLY you will regret it.
Either way ots a dangerous road for your repore with your friends you think you'll get away with it over time but at the end of the day you will be the one on tears and end up packing your bags and leaving without a word because you will be so ashamed of the person ypu will be known for.
Anyway what kind of a mate is this other bloke anyway, he's dodgy for sweet talking you up, and your being smooth talked into him, dont fall for it girl!
What goes around comes around, it certianly will bite you on the but one way or another someday so be carfull.
The only way i think it would work is if you both packed your bags moved to another place and erase that part of your life away and start a new life with him. I know its drastic but im tellin you shit will hit the fan!
Im sorry this seems harsh but you have to be aware!
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2009): As a woman in a relationship of 9 years (together since the age of 16) I would say to you to examine the "reasons" you are with your boyfriend. Everything I did was for the wrong reasons. If you have had these feelings for the past 6 of the 7 years you were with your man I would say that they will not just vanish because you tell them to. They are there and they are real. You will hurt your boyfriend if you act on those feelings whether you are with him or not. I think you need to do what is best for you. If you decide to break it off then be single for a while. Don't get involved with a man who is involved with someone else. You both need to be free before you act on your feelings. Believe me it is the best way. Talking from experience of doing the exact opposite of what I am telling you. After I did it, I wished I did it differently. If I did we would still be together with less drama. If you have hopes of it working between you and your bf best mate then dumothe bf and be sure the mate is free too before you act on your feelings. Hope this helps!
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