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male
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*amska
writes: should i leave my girlfriend? I still love her but i cant let her go through with this. I'm 17 and i stayed at hers one night and she heard us fooling around and now shes being a bit harsh about it, shes slapped my gf, changing her college to avoid me, not let her leave the house, not let her call me or text by taking her phone, telling her to leave me or leave the house. She is also 17 and i'm her first proper bf and she doesnt know what to do. Should i end it and sacrifice my heart for her happiness, or should i stick by her. I'm scared to stay with her and things are getting worse and shes resorting to self harm which hurts me and i'm scared if i dont leave her i could muck her life up. Please help me, also if u think i should leave her how should i do it?
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (31 August 2006):
 It seems as though she has more to worry about with her mother than she does with you! She is being abused at home, which is most likely to be the cause of her self-harming. This girl needs help, and so does her mother. You could help her by getting her to go to her doctor, who will give her some good advice and refer her to a specialist to help her to stop harming herself. Her mother should go too, but that, of course, is out of your hands.
In time her mother should be able to see from the way you helped out, that you only have your girl's best interests at heart, and you can take it from there. It certainly won't happen overnight, as self-harm is a deep-rooted problem stemming from childhood struggles, but if you are serious about this girl, you will need to be strong for her. She will need you, but you will have to be there for her - you are only 17, so you have to ask yourself if you love her enough to go through with this. If you do love her, and if you are in it for the long haul - but only if..you have to really want this..stick by her, and help her out. As I say, you are only young yourself, and no-one can blame you if you cannot cope with it, but you will learn an awful lot about yourself and human nature if you stick by her.
However, should you decide that you cannot cope with all that at such a young age, I suggest that you still get her to seek professional help, and keep in contact. You care for this girl - her next boyfriend may not - and that could cause more damage to her in the future. She needs someone to help her out of this. Whatever happens, I hope someone stands by her. Good luck, take care.
A
male
reader, samska +, writes (30 August 2006):
samska is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry yeah her mum heard us
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A
male
reader, samska +, writes (30 August 2006):
samska is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry yeah her mum heard us
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A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 Sorry, you missed a bit out I think? Do you mean her Mum heard you? If you love each other you should stand by her and support her. But you should definitely encourage your girlfriend to see a counsellor, it will help her with home issues and self-harm which is a concern. It remains confidential so she doesn't have to worry about that at least.
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