A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I think I'm having a bit of a quarter life crisis right now and I'm looking for some advice. I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Recently I have come to realise that I don't think I can't see myself marrying him. He is quite a selfish guy, and I have spent a lot of time in our relationship trying to get him to notice me and treat me well. Things have been much better in the last 2/3 months (since I told him I'd had enough and was leaving) but to be honest I think the damage has been done as I just don't feel the same any more. However, I have got it into my head that I am too old to meet someone else now. I know in my head I am being ridiculous, but deep down I can't seem to get this nagging voice out of my head saying I will never meet anyone. I used to get a lot of male attention but no one has approached me in years so maybe I have lost whatever I had? And what if my relationship now isn't that bad and I am just being too fussy and I regret it later? I also have no single friends so I'm scared I won't have anyone to go out on the town with. I don't know why I am all of a sudden feeling like this. I was never someone who needed a boyfriend, and I know I will be happy single too, but I do want to meet someone eventually and I'm starting to doubt that my perfect guy is out there. Is this just normal fear of the unknown? And what can I do about it? I feel so left behind that everyone else is settling down really happy and I'm back at square one. Any advice on how to overcome these feelings will be much appreciated :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2013): I am the OP - thanks for all your answers so far it has really helped a lot. I think I was having a bit of a panic there for a bit but I feel much better now. I think my big fear is that I am going to regret it, but I also know I'm not happy so it probably is the right decision for me. Oh and sageoldguy, I'm actually going on holiday to Florida in July which I'm looking forward to even more now!! Haha thanks again :)
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (6 January 2013):
 You write: "I have got it into my head that I am too old to meet someone else now...."
C'mon down here to Florida and see how many of us old codgers are having VERY active dating and fooling around and socializing and everything-else lives.... and you'll quickly erase this sentence from your submittal.... and will then say to yourself:
"Hell... I'm just a puppy... and have about 2/3 of my life still remaining... so I'll be better off ALONE than I'd be hanging with this jerk.... AND, the chances are that I'll be as successful as those old Dubbas in Florida, at finding a new partner.... so I'd better get about it....."
....and THAT will be the beginning of your New life A.S.G.*
(*) After selfish guy
Good luck.....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 January 2013):
 I married at 21. I had two kids before at age 29 I had to get out of what was not a bad marriage but I was not happy. I had no job (I was a SAHM) I had no single friends. I had two small children. I took the leap and never looked back.
You can't stay in a relationship because you are afraid of being alone.
And to be honest... while no one is perfect... some are a better fit than others.
BTW I was never alone unless I wanted to be....
do not stay in a relationship out of fear.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (6 January 2013):
Dear OP,No one said a breakup was ever going to be easy. It will hurt and you will have to sort your life out and make new friends, maybe even find new hobbies or a new apartment. But escaping from a bad relationship - I did it and in the long run, it was totally worth it!!!I broke up with my LTR at the age of 27 and I know the problem: People around are getting married and settling down while you are the single girl..But guess what? I get much more male attention than EVER! Back when I was in a relationship, of course guys didn't really look at me, because I either had my partner with me or I just felt so comfortable and un-flirty that I didn't make an effort to dress up and have fun.Being single is not easy, but I did so many things I would have never done in my life if I had stayed together with my partner: I did a portuguese class in brazil, met new people, a lot of party, moved to another city and other things that wouldn't have been fun or possible in this relationship.Yes, it's hard to find someone new, I'm still single after two years. But it's not that guys aren't interested in me. It's more that I've become much pickier, but I have a choice, really. And I never considered myself exceptionally pretty or so. I guess it's just my new found self confidence and a bit of effort when it comes to styling (sexy is always better :)). Also, in our age, we get the attention of the slightly older guys in the same situation. They are single, over thirty and they want to fall in love again, so they are very ready to approach. Yes, your fear is completely normal. And I'm also afraid sometimes that I won't find Mr. Right. But all in all, I would never reverse my decision even if I could. And I believe that my chance of finding the right guy is much higher now than if I had stayed in that relationship. In other words: do what you have to do.
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