A
female
age
30-35,
*till.Hurting.
writes:I think i love my ex boyfriend. I have always talked to him ever since we broke up a year ago and we still have a close bond. I no he still loves me, and we may just be kids but we did really love eachother. It took me most of this year to get over him but now my feelings for him are slowly coming back. He's offered me round to his for oral sex, but if i go my feelings for him will come back, but if i don't go i'm going to be fustrated sexually. What should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008): Someone you didn't see for almost a year invites you for oral sex isn't love its "lust" there is s difference.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007): Your predictions sound correct, he may still have the same love for you - have the exact same feelings and not sure what to do. How ever, could he be just after sexual relations - and be sexually frustrated?
The term 'casual sex' has been thrown around in the press a lot recently, and its become a lot more accpetable (in fact totally acceptable) to have a no-ties sexual partner, consider it.. you can be close as friends, but also enjoy each others sexual activities as friends.
But as you said, your main concern is developing feelings for him again - have you stopped and considered perhaps just talking to him about your feelings, and how they've developed for him again and that you don't know if you'd like to engage in oral sex with him due to your feelings building again - he may turn around and say "I feel the same way." and then you potentially have a relationship again. Do think back to why you originally broke up with him in the first place, and consider - do you really want to be in the same situation again.
Perhaps take a more slow approach, instead of rushing over to his house for a night of glorious oral sex - go out for lunch or go to the cinema and see how he acts around you. I do think personally talking to him, is the best way about it - and men love nothing more than to express their sexual feelings, so it will be easier than you think!
The laws of sex have changed, you no longer have to be portrayed as a "whore" or "slut" - you are ALLOWED and always have been to have multiple sex partners, if you feel your sexual demands need to be met, then meet them - of course, you always have your self if all else fails (which again, there is nothing wrong with - and is totally natural - depending on your religious beliefs).
Ryan
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