A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, need some genuine advice.Me late 30s. Met a woman online, slightly older than me, we HAVE NOT been on a date, just met for coffee twice, after each time we said bye "keep in touch". We got along ok,(despite not having heaps of common interests,) there was a a bit of banter and teasing of me by her, (she is known for her wit/humour) and we seeemed to get along, I might have misread, but i though there was the tiniest, maybe? (or maybe it was her wit that made me think that?) spark there, no firting and NO date, just 2 strangers talking, we have messaged quite a few times via email since, social messages. I sent an email last week with a tiny hint that I might like her, only saying it was nice to meet her and I found her interesting, and there I have said it, thats it, pretty tame.She messaged me back, not acknowledgeing that comment and sent a social, how are you type, usual mesage. most mesages start with "hey yoü" but that greeting can be for anyone? Both of us have talked about the difficulties meeting woman who are genuine online and she said she "hadnt" had any luck, as said I, which as w fag that she dsliked me? Dating is hard, we agreed.She sent me a message asking if I would like to go to xmas drinks with her soon, (to be nice as its xmas) no date, xmas drinks can be with anyone, friends, work buddies, family etc etc. So I said yes, just 2 ppl chatting, no date.I think she is a person who doesnt talk about feelings and may not make a move first, but as I said not date and only 2 short meeting so far. Deep down I think she may only see me as a potential friend or aquaintance, if that, which I respect, she didnt acknowledge my comment, and has never once said "nice to meet you too" or given any compliments/hint but some ppl dont say that.is the "hey you" greeting something ppl say to friends and aquaintances? I havent heard this except from ppl in couples. I am not going to give any more hints I like her, if i see her for drinks, I dont want to embarass myself and have no idea what she thinks, its a bad feeling liking someone who doesnt like you back. what do you think, just go to drinks as potential aquaintances? will play cool and just chat, how will i know if she likes me as a friend or ? esp if she is bit wary I like her but I think she feels opposite.sorry its long please need advice.Thanks in advance.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): this is the poster, thnks for answers. will go and play cool and go from there, its early days. what about the greeting hey you? just a term used??
. im not sure if i should drop a hint, for now no, will get to know her more, she emailed me yest and said she wanted to "catch up" for a drink. just friendly drinks, the message was short but friendly. ill go and will just chat. thanks
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 December 2011):
 Pick a date (or two) and ask if they will suit her or ask her if she wants to go Christmas shopping or something.
She may not get your little hints :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): Tough one!!I guess if you want to keep the friendship, you can just keep going as you have been - friends getting to know each other, socially catching up for coffee or drinks.In telling her your possible interest, you havent been really obvious so its possible she is misunderstanding you. The only way to really show your interest is by doing something a bit more romantic, or maybe even just saying it outright to her that you like her and want to see how she feels toward you.Ive many a friend who has said that to me (im female) when we have began a friendship - how they like me and wonder what i feel for them. To those who i only saw as a friend, I just told them i saw them as a friend and am enjoying getting to know them. Most of the time it was awkward initially but they are still great friends to date.Alternatively, she may announce she feels the same and maybe you can then go on a date. Its not like its official, its just an actual date - dinner and movie, or picnic or whatever takes your fancy. It just changes the time spent together.If you dont feel confident saying how you feel, or being more honest then I dont see any harm in continueing how you are. The only possibility is that she may think you aren't all that interested and if someone else comes along will start dating them, thinking you are just interested in friendship. I agree its really hard to know what to do so early into a friendship, and whether theres more there or not! Just play it by ear and if you really want to know, ask (without coming across too strong of course!). All the best!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): this is the original poster, sorry for speling, I meant a flag that she didnt like me.. no nasty comments plse
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