A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I just want to know if I can get my ex back, we were together for 3 and a half years and broke up in november because I stole money from her the second time, we owned a house together 2 years ago and I stole money from the account and gambled it, she forgave me and said if I done it again it's over, we sold the house and rented together, then 2years later I stole $5000 out of her account and gambled it again, she found our and told me to move out,she kept messaging me asking why I have ruined her life and future,she asked if I had got help yet and I said I didn't need help. Then a month after we broke up she wanted to have a coffee and talk and I couldnt be serious and she left this happened twice, she kept messaging me every other day wanting answers, I couldn't give. Then a couple of months later I realised what I had lost, I messages her telling her how sorry I was, but she didn't want to talk about it, I went round to her house and cried and she couldn't care, she told me we couldn't be together romantically again maybe friends one day but not now, I then sent her flowers to her work and wrote her letters, she then sent me a text saying i know it would hurt to hear but I dont see us ever being back together again to much has happened, thanks for saying sorry I can't be what u want. I rang her crying, she told me to stop texting and calling her forever and she will contact me when she's ready, I kept on texting her and she said if I didn't stop she would get legal advice to make me stop, I left it for 3 weeks and messaged her about money I owe her she replied asking me to pay, I asked if I could see our cat or look after it and she said at the moment no. It's now been 2 weeks since I've contacted her and want to know what I should do please??? How long do I wait for her to contact or do I make first contact?I really do love her and i have gotten help for my gambling problem.
View related questions:
broke up, ex girlfriend, flowers, gambling, money, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Brevity  +, writes (11 November 2013):
My ex boyfriend was a gambling addict. He used to lie about it all the time. He was on benefits: he pretended to the DWP (and to me)about his money going missing so they'd send it again. He's sell things of his and pretend they were broken and he'd put them away somewhere. Then one day I thought there was less money than usual in my purse. I thought it was just a mistake of mine. Then about £200 went missing. He swore blind it wasn't him (this was before he told me he was a gambler). I persuaded myself it was OK - it could have been stolen by someone else. Then my whole purse was stolen. Big coincidences!Of course I had no proof. I didn't even know he was a gambler. Later he did own up about the gambling. And, much later, towards the end of the relationship, he told me that he had been drinking heavily when I wasn't there and lying to me about it. I left him because I fell in love with someone else. Only recently did I fully acknowledge to myself that my ex very likely stole from me. By coincidence, I heard some gossip recently about him borrowing money from someone we know and not paying it back. Oh, and because my ex had no credit, I let him have a mobile phone on my bank account. He kept on paying for a while after the breakup, then stopped - vanished, telling people he was ill, he'd left town, etc. (I stopped the phone).It makes me feel very vulnerable. It makes me wonder if money was the only reason he was with me. It leaves me suspicious of the man I am with now, even though I know he is honest. All the lies he told make me doubt every single thing he ever told me - including the "I love you"'s. I hope the woman referred to in the initial post never took the gambler back. "I'm sorry," however sincere, isn't enough. How can you say you love someone then steal from them? I just cannot make any sense of that. No winning when you gamble with someone's love and trust.
A
female
reader, Lucky786 +, writes (30 April 2012):
 I think you got off lightly. I would've reported you to the Police.
You don't deserve her. Stop being selfish and listen to what she is telling you.
They say a good gambler knows when to quit. Maybe you should cut your losses and walk away from her now.
...............................
A
male
reader, grymsoul  +, writes (30 April 2012):
 Also, as a side note. If you really want to show her you've changed. Pay her back everything you stole from her, every cent of it. If you're not willing to do that then you were never fixed. Why would she allow you back into her life if you can't even be a man and repay what you stole? Even if you do give her back the money, she won't see you the same way again. No matter what you do, you will never be pure to her again. But if you pay her back, at least you can salvage whatever honor you have left.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2012): You need to pay her back every cent you owe her PLUS interest to make up for ruining her life and breaking her trust multiple times and yanking her around! So if you stole $5000 from her, you should pay her back $10,000. Until you have done that, don't bother contacting her. And even after you do that, don't expect her to take you back but you still should do it because it's the least you could do after what you did to her.You should get your gambling problem fixed, and your lying problem too, and move on to someone new who isn't scarred from what you did.
...............................
A
male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (30 April 2012):
Wrong, wrong, wrong. You don't deserve her back. You violated her trust by stealing a massive amount of money from her. I have no sympathy for you seeing as I was in exactly the same situation. I was the one being robbed by my ex girlfriend. Do you know how it feels to work hard and save up money just to have your own partner sneak it out from under your nose? It's one thing to take it but it's a whole other thing to blow it on something senseless. In total, my ex girlfriend has stolen $2700 from me. The first time she stole over $1000 from my wallet. She denied it but I had proof she took it. I usually mark my money in a very unoticable spot on the edge of the bill. She had no idea. So one day she was paying for something and she pulled it out in front of me, not knowing that the bill was marked. I dumped her when we got home.I still loved her, so I took her back a few months later. Big mistake. The second time she stole over $1500 from my bank account. I had my bank investigate and they found out it was her. I dumped her again. This time it was permanent.You have severely ruined the relationship by being selfish and a thief. The best thing that she has done in the reltionship was dumping you. No one needs a partner who steals from their own loved one. My sympathy goes out to her. You say she keeps asking why you did it? It's simple. She loved you and can't figure out why her boyfriend would hurt her so.You say that you have gotten help for your gambling problems but the gambling wasn't the real issue. Sure it was the cause for stealing but the real issue was that instead of earning money so that you could use it on gambling, you chose to steal it from her instead. In doing so, you have demonstrated a lack of integrity and faithfulness. Your character has already been soiled in her eyes.You could get all the help you want but in the end, your image has forever been tainted to her. You are not worthy of her trust and she would be a fool to consider taking you back. Do her a favor and leave her alone. I applaud you for fixing your gambling problem. But the real problem is your character. I think once you've fixed that then you can be a descent boyfriend to the next girl that you happen to get with. But this one will never see you the same again. I know I will NEVER take my ex back again. The trust has been broken.
...............................
|
