A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my partner for 4 years now and we were due to get married next year. i have moved from my home to live in his country with him and we have a house together.I have lived with him for nearly 2 years now and for the past 1 and half years we havent been getting on. We arguse and then not speak to each other for a few days after and then start speaking again as if nothing has happened and not talking about the situation, when we need to sort things out so it doesnt get any worse.I think down deep we both know that things arent working out but it seems to have gone past the stage of repairing things.We dont hardly speak to each other anymore and havent slept with each other for well over 2-3 months now.Recently i have become close to another man when i was back home and things have happened between us (just once) but it has made me realise that if i can do that on my boyfriend im obviously not happy with him and im not prepared to pretend that things are ok anymore, like i usually do.I have a mortgage but all im thinking about now is how and when i am going to go back home and how i am going to tell him?I still love him but i think i am wasting both mine and his time.What should i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ariad  +, writes (11 June 2008):
 I think you should take time to see if that thing you feel with the new man is a fantasy of yours or is real. Do not make the mistake of breakinf up if you are not sure about what you are doing.Time is the best healer and advicer.
I wish you the best.
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