A
female
age
41-50,
*ean genie
writes:I need advice! Please! I have been seeing a married man for over 9 months now. The affair became very intense very quickly. He usually stays with me a couple of times a week. (although, this has reduced recently) He has told me many times he loves me, and he feels it was a mistake to marry his wife. They have two children together. He has also said he has only slept with her twice since he has know me, simply to pacify her. She is abusive to him, he confessed this to me. He has said that he will leave her, but because of their children and finances can not do that yet. I recently found something out that led me to believe that they have a "happy" marrage. I confronted him about this and he denied that this was true. Tears were shed and he promised me that he has always been honest and truthful to me. I have tried to call it off, he constantly contacted me. I have arranged to see him soon. I still love him, but at the same time I feel very confused. But I still believe he will eventually leave his wife.
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female
reader, jean genie +, writes (30 October 2007):
jean genie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice. The thing is.. I know this already.. everything you people have said!I'm a intelligent person, I am a nurse by profession, I'm very attractive and have lots of interest from other guys. But.. he is very manipulative, and he knows how to push my "buttons" so to speak. I have fallen in love with the wrong guy. He said his marrage is dead in the water, but hey.. like you all said he's a liar. It was he who chaised me, showered me gifts and affection. But the time has come to stop this now.
Thanks again for the advice. I am now cutting all contact with him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): Hone' he will not leave his wife, not for you and you know it. please see a professional to help you and do not ever fall for the same lies
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): And Also honey don't go chasing him, if he is not contacting you, or looking for you, he does not want to see you. If he wanned to he'll go and see you ie visit you. Go with what he does not what he says we women get caught up on that. I great male friend of mine told me, you women are emotional and your mind is clouded after sex. For us guys we are not emotional at all after sex and we know what we want after having sex with someone / before having sex a guys mind is clouded cause he just wants one thing (thats why a lot of them don't use condoms). Sound familiar. He is lying his ass off cause he nows who is in control, him not you, he is playing with your emotions big time and you are letting him. He is probably laughting and his EGO is oh my I got two women dying for me. The classic triangle but his wife is the one he'll always love that is why is his wife cause she is a decent women not one that is having affairs with married men. Always remember a guy always want a women that respects herself and that he can trust (ie that won't cheat on him wich is a ny married men worst nightmare) if you had an affair with him he won't trust you. You don't need him (you think you'll die, but you wont) move on. I feel for you honey, Cause I was you (in past tense NOT ANY MORE). Now I got a great guy in a loving relationship that I'm more than satisfied.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): I beleive he is lying to you. He knows what he is doing having his cake and eating it to. He has some issues. But you know he is not good for you. How old is him 20, 25 , 35. Whatever the age he is a grown man and if he wanned to leave her that would have benn the case long time ago, he is probable lying to her about you ie the sex was not that great, she stinks down their or worst yet she is a slut, I know cause a friend of mine told me on my situation with a married man. As for the tears, have you seen actors crying. Read some on Narcissists and you'll have your answer. I'm sorry for you, I learned my lesson the hard way. Don't think this situation is diferent cause is not. You gys are just adicted to the pain thats all it is. Go get some pshycological help. If he were available would you be with him? Do you have some daddy issues? Cpeting for daddys love with mommy? I being blunt but we women need to respect ourself. He does not respect you if that was the case he'll be with you. Sorry
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