A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I would appreciate some advice. My girlfriend ended our 1 1/2 year relationship about 6 weeks ago. We broke up, i feel, because of me constantly arguing with her, my trust issues with her (which i had no reason to not trust her)i suppose i took her for granted, about a month before we split up she warned me things needed to change and that she wants us to be happy, but if things didnt change we would just push each other away and hurt each other, but i just didnt think about the situation enough then, its taken this to make me realise. I have been patient, read alot and been told alot of advice. The other night i felt like i needed to lift a weight from my shoulders so i told her how i felt, at first she seemed shocked and said it was strange and she wasnt expecting it, also that she didnt know what to say because she didnt want to sound awful but she hadnt really thought about it that much (she has had alot going on in her life atm with exams and thinking about holidays with her mates etc), she had just thought that we wernt right together ( i think because we wernt getting on for the last 4 months of our relationship and the arguments got worse and more frequent because i didnt change what i needed to), i didnt get all emotional just told her that i had time to reflect and see the problems we had. Anyway the conversation was interupted and she had to go. Later, she text me saying she felt like she "supposes" she knows now that she made the right decision, especially at this point in her life but that she still cares for me and wants to be friends. I replied telling her i have changed and things would be different, i needed to know if there was a chance of us been together, if she was certain there wasnt then i wanted to know so i could move on with my life. She said its hard cos she cant say for certain how she feels but shes not able to say she wants us to be together, and said "i know i should move on". She wants to stay friends and i think i want that too, she mentioned i will always have a place in her heart. I dont know what is best to do, i know i should move on with life to be able to cope with not been with her, but i do still love her and feel as though we should be together because i genuinely think things would be different if i was given a chance and weighing up the bad and good times she was the best girlfriend.Any decent advice on whats best to do? bearing in mind i would like to get back with her?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): I think she has told you that it is over but doing so in a gentle way..i just broke up with a bloke for similar reasons and he is saying he will change but its hard to believe someone when they had all the warnings and ignored them...
Just see how you are as friends but always keep busy in your life too if its meant to be it will be...maybe ask her to go out as friends and see how you get on thats what im trying, but i have no answers for him either...
A
male
reader, guapino +, writes (25 June 2008):
Dude, I have just broken up with my gf about a month ago. I suggested the friends thing, and all its done is have her talk very coldly or be very bitchy towards me. Every relationship has its issues.
My best advice would be to tell her that you want to be friends, however, dont contact her all the time or ask for her back.
I would suggest try to find ways to make you happy, dont even attempt to make her jealous as this really wont be good on the long run.
Take a new hobby and be busy, that way when you guys do speak, she will be more intrigued to see why you are coping so well without her and she can actually see that you have changed.
This will make you far more attractive than a "weak" person who keeps telling her how you feel.
If she comes back, then make sure you really appreciate her this time, tell her shes beautiful (not sexy, hot etc etc) every day, be spontaneous etc, because if she does come back you must realise that she's there for a reason, and that is that no other guy in her eyes is worth as much as you
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A
female
reader, goodiea +, writes (25 June 2008):
you should get over her and start dealing with your insecurities before you try getting back wit her. you should try just being friends and see how it goes from there
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